Sex and Stuff with Lara from Pussy Church

I know that you could be the one for me I'm ready, we're living on the way behind me I know that you could be the one for me But I've been rolling for the good, and I say I know that you could be the one for me I know that you could be the one for me I know that you could be the one for me Welcome to Synchronicity, this is a fun episode We got Lara from Pussy Church, which is a new addition to MindPod Network. Have you noticed MindPod Network is getting pretty? We're adding some cool people. I mean, for those of you who have been with MindPod Network since the beginning, you remember it started with Ramdas and Sharon Salzburg and Jack Cornfield It's changed a little bit since then Pussy Church being one of the additions We also added the Cosmic Keys podcast We're adding some other really cool shit too I have people who have hit me up, I gotta get There's like three or four people being added, we'll probably launch some 2020 Just like we're increasing the breadth of the spectrum for people talking about stuff And this episode with Lara is Gosh, one of my favorite episodes I've done in recent memory, just because it's about sex It's about sexuality, it's about spirituality, it's about energy and how these things interface and I mean, this is probably, gosh Top three conversation I've had about sex with anyone, including sexual partners, which says a lot and I'm not alone in that There's not much for me to give away, it's a long and awesome conversation She is incredibly pleasant, go check her out, Pussy Church is the name of the podcast, Tales of Lara There'll be links to all this stuff, you can tune in to her She's just fun and pleasant and awesome, and we need people like this talking about these things and having these conversations And you'll hear why in this episode, but you know, sex is the energy The emotions, the psychology, the relationship stuff that comes from intimate and sexual encounters is like, that's a big deal for a lot of people and I think we're actively kind of working through a lot of these energies that have been stagnant or kind of corrupted or just like not working well So we need the spaces to be able to talk about this and I am happy that we got to do this on this podcast because we haven't really spoken too much about, I think I've spoken about like sex stuff more recently, here and there on intros and solo cast but this one is like a deep dive and it's just, it's very nice I got to say, what else do we have going on, Los Angeles trip?

Fucking amazing, I'm at this place, this healing house You're going to hear more about it, the buddy, my buddy now who rented it out to me, we're becoming friends, we are friends You'll hear him on an upcoming episode, but yeah there's stuff going on I am here, this will probably be out Thursday the 5th, I'll be here for 3-4 more days, if you want to do an in-person reading we're having those going on, they're pretty fucking awesome I got to say, and yeah, just there's shit going on you know how to do all this stuff for the things, right? Is that explicit enough? Stuff for the things, I feel like there was something else I wanted to mention Oh, of course there is, Ned, my CBD buddies, they're the coolest, they just had I don't know if the sale is still going on, but they had a Black Friday, Cyber Monday thing My hunches here probably still do something, use the code sink 15% off all of their stuff, you know what, I've been hyping up the CBD tincture, but I actually forgot that when I came out here, but you know what, I didn't forget and I was like, oh shit, I was just talking about is the lip balm, I actually really use that stuff, you know the tablet sucks, no one likes them, it's lame, and I just like using the CBD stuff, again, it's magically blessed if you use my code, S-Y-N-C, check out hellonid.com is the place, they're the coolest, if you're just hearing about this for the first time or you've heard about a million other CBD companies, just like you know, it's like I wouldn't work with the people who suck these people continuously, I get their emails, I talk to them they're doing the shit the way it's supposed to be done, they actually care about the people who buy their products, they try to create a community vibe, and they are my sister, if you enjoyed that episode, she works with them, she's planning a trip with them down, I think in Mexico doing something, they're like, they're cool fucking people so that's about as big of a ringing endorsement as I can get, if I say someone is cool, they're good, and the shit they're putting out is good, so hellonid.com, use the code sink S-Y-N-C, check out, you got 15% off everything, anything else that I needed to mention, stay tuned, I'll do some Instagram readings for people coming up, and I'm just going to tease this out a little bit, I am opening up, there's going to be a membership, like a monthly membership thing for synchronicity, and I don't want to hype up all of the benefits right now, but this will definitely be something you're interested in, if you don't want to drop a crap load of money on a reading, which I understand is a lot for a lot of people, some people save up, that's great, but there will be collective readings and video readings, you can ask me questions directly, I'm doing this anyway, but it's going to be a little more interactive, also for people who have been asking about the music, that's how I'm going to release the music on the membership thing, so it's going to be clear what this is in the coming months, I'm fleshing it in the coming months, like really probably like a month, it's happening, I was going to do it on Patreon, but I'm not going to do it on Patreon, for a few reasons, which I will talk about in later episodes, so I'm going to make my own custom thing, it's going to be cool, I'm going to invest a little bit to make it like very cool for people who want to join this, but the main reason I'm bringing up now is I'm very cognizant of the price points of everything I do, especially for the reading stuff, and I don't want to feel, have people feel like you're being excluded, if you can't afford $150 reading, or a $70 reading, or an $80, I get it, you might not be at that place yet, you might not have realized your abundance flows from within, but I totally get that, I've been there, I'm still hacking money to myself, so I don't want to make it seem like, oh yeah, I just like thought of a million dollars, and here it is in my life immediately, but I will say I don't want to limit these readings to people who don't have the money right at this second, so this will be a cool way to do it, 100% won't break your bit, break the bank for anyone, I'm very confident in this, it'll be like less than Netflix per month, there's going to be some cool fucking features. People told me not to totally mention this, but I am mentioning it because I've been like floating it in the Discord server, which you can join, it's public now, and people are like, yo, I'd sign up for that tomorrow, so I'm getting it all together, it's going to be real nice, real tight, real good, but that is for people who maybe want to get some readings, you know, in a different way, but still impactful, and I also do the YouTube stuff, this podcast, there's so much free shit too, just to be clear, so I don't want to make it seem like I'm just, you know, you get it, you get it guys, I don't have to explain too much more about this, but also on Instagram, I'll probably be doing some $20 readings, people want those in the next few days, so stay tuned, and tune into me there. Okay, Jesus, it was like a business pitch all of a sudden, what the fuck was going on? You know what it really is, I'm very, very excited for this membership club thing that we're doing, it's also going to get you access to live events, like I see what's happening with it, and it's going to be cool, so that's why I'm excited and I talk about it in this episode, let's get to this episode Lara, that's a pseudonym, by the way, and we talk a little bit about that in this episode, Pussy Church is the podcast, go check it out if you like candid discussions about sex, sexuality, relationships, it's great, I think you'll enjoy it, you know, we're opening it up, like I said, it's going to be a lot of stuff we're talking about, not just on this show, but my pod network, so that's it, without further ado, here is Lara from Pussy Church.

Welcome Lara. Hi, thanks for having me. Oh, thanks for coming over and doing this, this is super fun. I'm super excited. We've only known each other for a month or something like that. Yeah, I think last maybe two, three weeks? Feels like a lot longer. It does. So you have a new podcast on my pod network. I do, it's called Pussy Church. I was going to say it, Pussy Church, I was going to say it, but I was like, will you say the name of it? And you did. Yeah. So we're going to get to that podcast, but I want to, since we've only known each other for a little bit, I actually want to find out more value, I don't know all that much about you. That's true, but I feel like you do.

Is that weird? I mean, I do in many ways, but the specifics and we were just talking about right before we started recording whether we could talk about how the anonymity relates to your podcast, because this is interesting to me just for a lot of reasons, but explain to people briefly what your podcast is, we'll get more into it, but also your decision to be anonymous when doing it. Okay, cool. So yeah, the podcast is called Pussy Church, and it's basically, it's basically going to church for the Pussy. No, but it's a, it's like a worship podcast. No, but we look at a lot of erotic art, we talk about personal experiences, we answer questions from listeners.

It's all like worship and the gospel and confessions and stuff like that, but yeah, I'm anonymous on it, and I'm anonymous on my magazine, and I write erotica. So for me personally, I mean, I had a few different reasons why I just started it anonymously, I guess to, I don't know, really in order it became this, to have other people, especially women, I feel like being able to see themselves in the characters world or in my world without having an identifier that separates them. And it's I hope it is actually working this way. I feel like it is because it makes it so that the experiences I have and that I talk about are not just my experiences, but you can see yourself in them.

It's like a blank slate for people. A little bit, yeah. I mean, it is fascinating because you know people tell me so many the most intimate things about their lives, like sexually speaking, right? And they don't know how I look like. Oh, so do you not see anyone for this? I mean, what do you mean? How do they not know? Well, the people that talk to me on social media or sending questions, they have no idea who you are, right? They don't know who I am, yeah. I mean, they get a feeling of me, right? I'm like in social media and I talk about a lot of private shit on my podcast. Right, but I can't put a face.

They can't put a face on this person that has like, you know, when I talk about a sexual experience I have or whatever or, you know, all the things that I talk about a joke about, you can't, you don't know who that person is. So how does this relate? Do you think about revealing like the big reveal at some point? What is that? No, but I think it would have to have, I don't want to destroy that aspect where you can actually see yourself in it, right? I mean, I think about it quite often, actually. Like sometimes I'm like, wow, is this just going to come out or, you know? Right. It could be exposed at some point. Oh, yeah. I mean, totally.

I mean, in a sense, like I know who you are now. I can still write in my blog. Oh my God. You're going to love dropping for that one. Well, that's a thing. Maybe it will. Yeah, it probably will. At one point come out. I don't think so. You don't, I don't know. I mean, I haven't taken crazy precautions, you know? Yeah, but you also seem like the type of person who wouldn't have someone betray you in that way. Like, who's the person who would do that in your way? Some dude I'm not fucking anymore. I'm just kidding. Yeah, but, you know what I mean? Sometimes I have a little word, you know? I mean, not everybody I have. So when I date, I don't go on a date as a lot like, you know, as like an erotic writer, it's hard to say. Maybe you should start doing that.

I mean, she's never not part of me, you know? See, that's what I find interesting because it is, I don't know that by revealing who you are at any point would destroy that aspect. And for that reason, I'm not convinced that other people would lose the ability to see themselves. You think so? Yeah, definitely. I think what you're describing also just on another level is these are just the personas that we wear in general. Oh, totally. And like, most of us are relatively confident wearing our persona or whatever it is. But a lot of us are also aware that that's just kind of like a, it's a magic trick. You know what I mean? Like that thing moves it morphs, especially with like the plant medicine stuff or the sound thing, like it's moving around. It's like, what is this?

I know it's still me, but like I'm not sure. So I don't know. I feel like it might not have as big of an impact in a negative way of like taking the anonymity away and taking like a mystery way. Yeah, it might be in a way like kind of you merging those aspects of yourself and getting them into the light in a cool way. It is super interesting because I was asked and I even answered the question of my podcast because I thought it was interesting and very valid. You know, somebody was like, well, you talk about sexuality so openly. Yeah. No, everything's good. Don't, don't mind me. I'm just looking.

I'm just looking. Talking with the mic. I'm fine with the zoom. So openly why it's kind of a paradox that you would be or hypocritical that you would be anonymous. If you say it's so normal and everybody should embrace it and everybody should be completely standing by it, right? Yeah. So and I think I kind of answered similarly to you now, but I think it is also valid. I mean, I'm not ashamed of any of my work. It seems like you're my life. You're a game though for you in a fun way, which is yeah. That's so, that's I think totally fine. I don't get the sense that you're hiding too much. No, it may be inside maybe a little. Yeah, maybe, but like I don't, I don't think that's the motivation.

I think it's, I think it'll have a very positive impact if, if you decide to do that just because I think you're, you're hunched that like it would take away that power. I don't think it, I think it would just be like, whoa, that's the person. That's cool. And like, maybe you see me now, you know, nobody can see me. It's like a funny. Yeah. Yeah. I also, but I also had the benefit of meeting you very soon after I heard the show. Oh, that's true. You spoke on the phone and Michael did that whole thing. So like it was like this whole like, so I, I got to see through it pretty quickly. But yeah, just, just, it's interesting though, but I only took you like a few days to like see me basically.

Yeah, it sounded like it's not that crazy. Yeah. The mystery was lifted so soon. So what motivated you to start doing this type of show and writing and all this stuff? I mean, clearly you're a sexual person in a lot of ways. Yeah. So I mean, embedded it into your life in a lot of different ways. But what was like the, the turning point where you're like, I'm doing this like for real for real. You know, it's funny because when I started publishing erotica, I was in a place of my life where everything was pretty in shambles. It felt like, and I, I was just talking about this and I was like, oh, I don't know if I would have done that. Maybe if everything would have been fine or whatever.

I was just like, so I, I had this phase about it. A lot of things were kind of crazy in my life and I started writing like a machine. Like I, I get these things sometimes when things are more difficult in my life that I just write. I mean, I've been, it's like your way of processing. Exactly. So it is insane how I write, like how much I write. So I started to write all these in that process. I started to write a lot of erotica just for myself. That's cool. And it was funny because, you know, you turn yourself on and you write these stories and these are all, we're all short stories. And I was like, well, after a while, it becomes a little funny, right?

If you keep on writing erotica and you write it and you write it and you're like, Yeah, the conscious awareness of what you're doing is happening right now. I'm like, am I creating my own porn collection? Like, what is this? And then I talk, I send it to two girlfriends. Like one that is very harsh, normally, you know, very honest, I would say. Like a good critic. A very good critic. Like she would have told me in the face like this, this bullshit. Now I'm like, better, you keep that in the drawer. Good for you sending it to her for that honest feedback. Oh, no, I needed it because it was so, I really, I was like, what is this?

I mean, it's erotica too, right? Like I don't want it to be like some trash. That's so funny to me. I mean, it's cool. Also, to send it to a girlfriend is very funny. Better than. Are you trusted her? Well, yeah, a guy friend, unless you wanted to have sex with them is probably not the right move. Yeah. You'd be like, oh, I get loud and clear. You want feedback? Gotcha. I got you on your feedback right here. Can I show you the other side of the story? Yeah. That's basically how that would have gone. I think. Yeah. No, but she kind of encouraged me to try it out. And so I just started publishing online.

I mean, for me, it's interesting because it is morphed in different ways. So the podcast comes more out of, um, it came out of me publishing, right? My writing and, um, my, my art, I guess, and like art of others. And I, the podcast came more out of like, trying to make sex a little bit more normal and like having fun. I mean, it's called mostly church. If this is not fun, I hope. Um, you know, because I grew up too. I mean, like most people do, but I know in a bit of a less way. I mean, we all have so many judgments and so much shame around sexuality. And I didn't even grow up like super religious, you know.

Didn't you grow up in a way? Do you have a, yeah. Okay. You can say it. Yeah. Wasn't it a Buddhist like what? Like a community. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We'll get into that. We'll get into that. But continue. Yeah. So obviously not well, so religious. Yes. But let's say not like Catholic or. Sure. Christian, Judeo Christian. Yeah. All the other religious really. Yeah. Um, but in that sense, I think still society, you know, gives you a pretty precise picture of like what a woman is supposed to be like in bed and that's a sexual. For sure. Like being, and I remember even being young, I was such a, I was a really horny kid.

Like at what age? Like six. I started masturbating with six. Oh shit. Yeah. And you like kept it up from six? No, no, no, no. I stopped in between because it was kind of like, I knew it was wrong. You know, like something was like, I wasn't supposed to do this in front of the phone. Did it feel good? Yeah. Yeah, but it wasn't like, I didn't have an orgasm of six. You know what I mean? I just felt like that would be next level. I mean, at least I don't remember. Um, but yeah, but I saw there was some things that I, I just felt. I couldn't really express it. I was like, I don't know. People don't really talk about it. People don't tell me much about it.

And when it's about sex, it's mainly like how to give a dude pleasure, right? Like I feel like when I was a teenage girl, I'll be talked about. And I, I think it's changing now with women and with girls. Yeah. Because men talk about how to give a blowjob, not like how to masturbate or how to have them go down on you, you know, because I think traditionally. Whether this is true or not, it's been the men who come with the stigma of being like the horny ones who are like one stuffed up. Absolutely. Now, to be clear, as a young horny kid, like, yeah, that's just accurate too. Yeah. Absolutely. That I think what's been overlooked is that girls and women feel like this too.

And that was definitely not ever reflected in anything I ever saw in culture. Well, it might have been, but then who is she? If she's that person? Yeah. Right? Yeah. She might even be like the crazy slut that sleeps with everybody. And like, yeah, that's what I mean. Like, it's, it's not the same way where it's like a healthy, normal things like, oh, yeah. Exactly. The sex with people and it's like, yeah, okay. Oh, you just want to go and masturbate, you know, I mean, yeah, you see guys masturbate in like movies. When you're a teenager, you know, you see, it's a joke, we'll go jerk off or whatever.

You don't see that in women masturbating. No, it's changing slightly, not really. But so we don't grow up to see seeing it in pop culture, right? Yeah. And so much more guys sing about or rap about fucking than women do. I mean, there's more now, more now. Yeah, I mean, Missy Elliott started in the 90s. Yeah, I mean, even before that, obviously, but I, so we see it less. So we think, I think a lot of girls or women feel like it's something they don't know anything about really. They can, you know, and it's so the podcast is more to like open up a conversation about the things that everybody wants to talk about.

It doesn't. And don't. Yeah. And talking to your partner, you know, communication. Yeah, I do know that. I mean, it's, it's the most important thing because I was saying, "Offair here." And I've said it, I think before on this podcast, a few times is that, you know, how gender has moved on this spectrum. And people just kind of acknowledge it now, whether they like it or not. It's just the thing that exists. And people are like, "Okay, that's a thing." It does seem like relationships and sexuality is starting to also move along that same spectrum. And I think we're in the more early stages, but it ramped up pretty quickly for gender stuff.

And it seems like it's ramping up pretty quickly. And people have questions. And if they don't have a safe space to process that, which you're providing to be clear, she's going to get real fucking gnarly real fast. And it already is. Well, it's because also the extremes, right? I mean, maybe we'll talk about, this is like Western world, right? Like developing countries, I think, because it's, well, it's not really actually, you know what I mean? Because I was just talking to this, I have several people that listen from India. And they were talking about, there's like kind of a sexual revolution happening in India.

Oh, wow. Yeah, they have like a TV show now that's called "Last Stories" where the first woman was shown masturbating. No shit. In Indian film history. But I go to India. Yeah, seriously. So I do think you're right. You know, there's definitely something happening. I mean, sometimes I'm afraid that we live in a bubble, but... It's not... We do. Yeah. We do absolutely live the illusion of central position because it's our shit. However, there are also observable trends that seem to be... I kind of think of it like this. Like we jump into timelines by what we imagine and realize. And so if you kind of intuitively sense, like I didn't base this thing off anything except my own experience.

I'm like, shit, it's getting weird. This is interesting. What's happening? It's so fascinating actually. Yeah. But then you do see those like confirmation signs in like India or just like you hear about people and it's like, whoa. Something is afoot. Like it's not just... Yeah. I do think so, but I think also it comes from... In the end, this is just going back to how we were when we, you know, like 6,000 years ago, maybe maybe even longer. Let's go way back because when a baby is born, it's not born with shame or judgment about sex. It's procreation. Yeah. I was just joking about this the other day.

Yeah. I was like, how funny is it? What? It was just like bear with me. If an alien would come to earth, right? And would see us humans shaming each other for the act of procreation. How absurd would that look like? Yeah. It would look pretty stupid. Just so dumb. It would be like, why would we... They are having fun. It looks like they're enjoying it. Like, why are they so mean to each other because they're having it? It doesn't make any sense. Why they're putting up all the rules, you know, all the... You can have sex with so many partners. Let me ask you this. Do you think it has a lot? It seems to me, I'll put it this way, that it has something to do with the idea of possession, control, especially in...

You're talking about the patriarchy? I am just in the past 25, but not just the patriarchy. I want to be clear, like, right now what it feels like energetically is the divine... The feminine is coming back real hard. And the tendency for the feminine is to envelop and like kind of like take everything. And it needs... There needs to be the balance. It can't just be constant, like, taking and too much. I know, but also feminine gives. I mean... Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm not saying. And that's... Don't get me wrong. This is why I'm feminine is many, many things. But what I'm saying is this rebalancing is kind of this large, like, overtake...

'Cause it's been so unbalanced for so long. Yeah. It's like coming out. It's like, okay, totally understandable. I think it's like a pendulum sometimes, though, you know? Yes. Yes, it is like a pendulum. It's funny you should mention a pendulum. So I... So I do think, though, a lot of those constraints, especially that women had placed on them regarding sexuality and just like what was allowed. Wait, are women placed on women, you mean? No, that the... Oh, that women have placed... Yeah, okay. Had placed on them does seem to have a lot to do with the theme of possession and control. And I think that is a big thing that is being kind of like worked through energetically with these relationships and the spectrum.

You know what I mean? I mean, you know, I mean, marriage for a really long time until like 100 years ago was about a commercial trade. Yeah. Okay, and it was possessing. Totally. Right? And you know, you were like basically sold. 100%. So I don't think... I mean, I'm not saying that with any like massive judgment, this is just our history. But I think in that sense, sexuality was sold. Your virginity was sold. Totally. Right? So clearly it's possessive. It was a huge part of it. It has value. It had value placed upon it. Financial value. Your virginity had financial value, which is so bizarre because virginity is a pretty odd concept in the first place.

Yeah. But clearly that's something, right? Yeah. That girls then, if your sexuality is seen as like something to trade with, how are you going to use it? To your own pleasure? Just because? Wow. You might... I mean, you will, maybe. But also as methods of exchange. Of exchange. Yeah. And we are still... I mean, this is still something that's actually kind of going on. Oh, yeah. What do you mean, kind of? It's definitely... And it cuts both ways to be clear. Like it's not. Absolutely. But yeah. It is... That is a big thing to be worked through because I'm sure in your own personal pursuits with sexuality, but also speaking to a lot of people, you realize like there is this place of liberation where it's like, oh my God.

Like sex can be this thing where it's not like all this added fucking cultural baggage and like, judge man and body stuff and like this whole fucking thing where it's actually like, this is awesome. It's like a sacred act. Yeah. I mean, that's the ideal situation. Right. But it takes work, I think, for a lot of people to sometimes get through that. Not that it takes a lot or it's hard, but it does take... It definitely does. A shift. First of all, I mean, I think it's about being interested in open to doing that, right? But I just wanted to say something about the value because it just came to my head.

Yeah. You know how a lot of girls, it's like this cultural idea of like my virginity or my pussy's precious, right? Yeah. Sure. And that means I can only give it to a few people. For sure. Where pre-selected, who paid enough money, I'm saying more and like gifts or whatever. Dinner is in gifts. I mean, that's money people. Let's not mistake it, right? So it's precious. It's a precious thing to give. I only give it to a few people. That is the biggest misconception there is. Because I just want to say like my pussy's very precious and I give it away all the time. No, but see, it's not even giving it away.

It's a choice. Well, I seek pleasure and connection. Yeah. And that has nothing to do with a value being put on it. I would argue that it is precious, but yeah, it's not like it's precious. Yeah. Don't give it away. It's like... It's precious. Give it to everybody. Just kidding. Like this is a big thing that I think is actually happening and that kind of give it to everyone. Sounds ludicrous. It doesn't mean literally everyone that it means. But the female energy too that sexuality is not just... So I mean, I think it is a little funny for me sometimes because I clearly talk about sex a lot. Yeah.

But a lot of people and I think some dudes get confused about it sometimes, right? What do you mean? Because they think I'm like hitting on them. Oh, because you're talking about sex. Yes. That's confusing for many men because it's... I understand. There's not that many women who do it first of all. And the idea of sex being spoken about between two people for a lot of people is like, oh, like that's... And it's not... Oh, I get it. But it's even more exciting maybe because it's not about us, right? I just talk about sex and then they're like, oh, maybe... What? Yes. It's alluring to people too.

Yes. But I think it does open. The cool thing is, as soon as you start talking about sex with somebody, very normally, right? Yeah, you can actually get through this. People get so excited to talk about it and don't mean sexually excited because they don't have that many people to talk to in a super free way. I don't judge. Yeah, I think that's why I enjoy talking to you so much about this stuff because it is... You're holding a space for people to where they're not being judged. Like I just saw you with our friend who owns this house where I'm saying, and you're never not judging at all, you know, in terms of holding the space.

And he talked about a lot of sexual things very fast. Wow, a step. I came up and I was like, what are you guys talking about? Oh, no surprise. He just happens to me all the time. So let me sit down in like two minutes and it's like, okay. But it is because it is something that people need to speak about to work through because otherwise, when are you doing it? Probably after you have sex with someone. Maybe many times and then you're then now just having the conversation. It is. It's kind of like a weird way to go about it. But let me ask you this. I found in my personal experience that a lot of in my personal experience, though, there's a lot of a lot of the wisdom that comes with sexuality is kind of embodying your own and like understanding who you are, what you want, why you're doing it, why it's okay that it's fucking awesome.

Like all of these things. And where does that fit in in relation to what you see people kind of experience in relation to other people? Because that to me has been like the biggest revelation for me, like the sexual revolution for me, 100% my sex ability went through the fucking roof when I was like, Oh, this is what's going on. Like I understand like who I am and what I am bringing to this process, not only for the other person but for myself. Yeah. And before that, I was like, I was only fucking training wheels and I had plenty of sex. It was just like not it didn't click. So like what do you see like what's that dynamic like when you're speaking to people?

I think it's super fascinating question right away because I mean, I look at it often from a girl's perspective, but you're so right. This is not, we're just taught a very specific simple, maybe not even simple way of sex, like a very what's normal, you know? Yeah. And they're like, Oh, you know, put the penis in the vagina and like, you know, missionary cells, something. And I think the biggest disconnect, especially for girls, I have to say, is that they don't masturbate enough. And I'm going to, I could scream that from the, from the roof, you know, because I think you have to. So this is a very simple way of getting to know your body, right?

Yeah. But it is definitely exploring your body by yourself, right? Because how can you communicate to a partner about what you want if you have never even figured it out for you? Yeah. And that communication must really also be so difficult for dudes. I mean, I have to say if a woman doesn't explore her own body and it's not really satisfied with her sex life. And then it's like, what do you want? Like, I don't know, it's, first of all, it's the most fun practice everybody, you know, like go and learn how you react and what feels good, you know, do it. I mean, but I think it's also more, like you said, I think it's when you stop shaming and judging yourself for any fantasy, right?

Literally, because I've had that for a while where it would shame myself, like, Oh, I really like that. Right? Like, I would be like, Oh, do I have, like, an issue? Right? I want to know what that thing is. So you're asking that question. Well, no, I mean, I didn't really happen when it happened to me. But when I was younger, I think the idea of like being dominant submissive and bad and like more in a BDSM realm was I was like, Oh, it's something wrong with me. It's like weird. It's like, you know, like, do they has like their dad tree that I'm now psychologically wrong? Yeah. Yeah. Are they like, they want to be degraded?

Like, what the fuck, you know? And then just to be like, Oh, what are my, my dynamics in that? What do I feel good with? And I had a really weird situation where I had a partner who was very kind, but he's definitely a dom. Okay. And we started playing in that realm. And I felt like I was being worshiping a sub, I submissive and, and, and, and thing. It was, I mean, it was very crazy. It was very specific to me though. Everybody has to figure out their boundaries, right? And I'm not definitely not like chained to, I don't know, a heater kind of person, right? Um, just to be open enough and leave that judgment away and be like, that doesn't feel good.

Yes. Yes. You know, yeah. Safe work. You have that ability to do it in a relationship. Actually, that's the cool thing about BDSM, which I don't, I'm not a huge BDSM person or something. But what they do is they talk a lot about sex beforehand, right? The communication, communication. There's aftercare. Do you know what that is? No, I have no idea. So when you have a BDSM session, you plan it beforehand, right? Like the scenario, what we're going to use or whatever. Yeah. And then you do it in whatever way you want to do it, right? And then afterwards, the dominant, it's called aftercare. The dominant takes the submissive partner and like cradles and hugs and like, we talk through how the experience went, how it fell.

This sounds awesome. It was, I mean, literally, he asked me so many questions. I was high, you know, like I had literally like a high from, from when we did our, yeah. Yeah. And I was like, wow, why don't we have to talk about this? And I was like, Oh, no, it's so exciting. So we like started talking about it and he was holding me and like kissing me softly. So to have that and it's called aftercare. So you integrate again into your relationship, I didn't know about any of this and people can do that. Anyway, anyway, anyway, any, anything, we should actually, we should be like, Oh, do you want to try this?

Fuck. Yeah. We'll try it. And later on, maybe we'll have like cuddle and talk about if we liked it or not and what was cool about it. Where do you think in a, this is fucking awesome to me. This is, because this is shit that I think about, but in like fragments and I don't have like a cohesive like train of thought related to this stuff and then you're like, Oh, this is what people do. I'm like, Oh, that sounds smart. Where do you think, see, this is an interesting thing. So right. There's physical attraction. There's chemistry, emotional, spiritual, psychological, there's all these different elements that are involved.

Absolutely. All of the ways that I have had relationships start with that ultimately ended in sex have been primarily physically or emotionally based at first. And then the communication comes. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. Okay. Not like, not like, um, yeah, I'm talking about pertaining to sex. I know what you're thinking. Okay. No, I obviously get to know someone before I because yeah, that is. Yeah. Okay. Um, no, no, I do, but like, this is what I'm wondering. When do you think this type of like discussion should happen between people? Because there's something to be said for like the intensity of the moment, you know, which is like passionate, but can lead to miscommunication relative to being communicative up front, but being like, killing the moment.

Do you know what I'm talking about? Totally. Okay. I'm interested in this. I don't know. I mean, I think like the first time you were having sex, you're probably not going to sit down beforehand and make it look like I hope not like you, hopefully like can, can wait that long. No, I don't. I think absolutely. I mean, there's no rules in general, right? I think it's more the idea that there can be way more communication about what we're doing. I think if we are super into each other and we want to bone right away, there's a bone right away, you know, you can figure it out because sometimes those will things also just start unless you want to do something crazy fetishy in bed.

You do have to talk to your partner beforehand. Yeah. You know what I mean? Exactly. I just can't spring it on them. I'm just saying. You're the handcuffs. I just met you. Oh shit. She's like, I'm going to kill you. Exactly. Help. Where am I? Yeah. It's interesting though, because I just know people who, especially on these dating apps a lot will like find these like kind of relationships, but it's hard for them to find their footing because a lot of them start as physically based. Yeah. They're trying to insert the communication in for people is like this fucking mind field for a lot of people because they don't know where they, it's like, and it speaks a lot to what you're talking about.

Like people don't have these spaces to like process this. I think so. Yeah. And nobody tells them that they can talk about sex in a very different way. And also, I think because sometimes it feels like people a little war zoney with dating. And I think we've gotten lost a little bit in that sense. I think where it feels like it's me against you or who is less emotions or. Yeah. These games. You know, I mean, I'm half blind to them, which is sometimes good and sometimes just weird. I'm like, what? What are we playing right now? I don't get this game. No one explained the rules. Oh my God. I understand this.

You explain. No, but I think that's where the connection part is so difficult, right? Because you can find somebody attractive than you meet in real life and you're like, we have zero emotional connection, right? Emotional, right? But I mean, I wouldn't you call yourself sepiasexual to a certain, okay? Wait. What? Oh, you don't know what that is. Sepiasexual is like being turned on by like a mental connection. Oh, yeah. Intellectual, speaking. Big time. Exactly. It's what I thought. So that was interesting. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's like a huge thing. You're not going in and hand, right? Like you just need somebody where it clicks on several levels.

So this is, yeah, this is what I have been honing in on is because I feel like the best sex is when both people are vulnerable enough to allow the emotions and all that stuff to come in and that's like transcendent sex. That's like that chick can do like magic on people for real and like in a nice healing productive way, not like some like black magic spell like, no, although that is a thing too. Like that's definitely a thing. There's also incredible sex that is not like holding hands. You know what I mean? But I, there is something to be said, actually Michael said that Michael Donovan shout out.

He, we were talking about sex and he was talking about a cosmic orgasm, he called it a cosmic orgasm. Yes. And that is, and I've had it only a few times in my life. Yeah. It is exactly what you describe, like you're so, you're emotionally vulnerable, but there's something that happens where you just melt together and like explode into the fucking universe. Yes. And that is very specific. I mean, that's what I'm talking about. How? I mean, I have no good recipe because it happened to me kind of like out of nowhere, but I think the more in tune you become with yourself and your partner, the closer you can get to that place.

And that to me, it's not like you're going for that every time because there's obviously different levels. It also takes. I mean, there's, this is like a really, we're not going to just have a little quickie, you know, before we go to work or something. If we want to go to that place, I think, no, it's more of a, it's a deeper, it's a deeper thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. And that to me has been a very appealing and rewarding aspect of sex. You know, I mean, there's obviously Tancia, right? Everybody knows about Tancia really to a certain degree anyways, but then in the Taoist culture, they also have a sexual practice that they put into the, their Buddhism, right?

And then in other Buddhist practices too, there's specific sacred sexual practices. Yes. You do like witchcraft, basically, with your partner. I mean, this is literally what it is, it's like crazy, you know, like how you work your energy and how you meditate with somebody and how, I don't know, it is absolutely fascinating and I want to learn so much more about that. That shit is super interesting to me and it's sacred texts, right? Like sometimes you can only get initiations from the Buddhist, Buddhist teachers. You've seen like a lot of people have the like donkas of, you know, like Haruka and Vajra Yogini and like they're, it's fucking awesome stuff and it's real.

It's like really, really real to like it's not just some, they're imaginal acts. So like it's something that people can see, but I'm, yeah, that shit is very interesting to me. You know, in scripture too, like some of the Buddhas, the female aspects into male aspects are having sex during, you know, like during like a pre-loop for a mantra or something. It's absolutely fascinating, you know, I mean, because these people didn't see sex as something separate or shameful. Right. It was sacred and about connection love. So yeah, this is, this is to me, I think what I'm most interested about sexuality and sex, like it really is and it sounds, I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm horny as fuck a lot and I like having sex for regular reasons.

So am I. But yeah, I mean, it's the thing. It's a vibe. It's a vibe. It really is. It's not everyone. It's like, you know what I realized too, is like not everyone is like that. Some people even think that they're horny and like they're, they're like, it's just like a regular amount of wanting sex, it's like not every, I don't know. Why do you think we're different that way? I have, I used to, truthfully, I used to think because I was fucked up. I used to think like, oh, like I have like a hole in my heart that I'm trying to like get like attention from. And I think partially because I felt like that and believed it, it was kind of true.

But then when I kind of like got ahold of my shit, I'm like, Oh, no, no, I'm still, I'm so horny. So it can't be that. Yeah. I'm good. Like I actually feel fine. Um, truthfully, I do think that for people who, let's just put it this way and this could be a self fulfilling prophecy or, or, you know, thing, but I do think people, yeah, for real. I do think that if one were to understand what, you know, Vajra Yoginis and their consorts were doing, it would make sense that those people, and this, like what we're talking about also is like, these are wrathful and peaceful deities who are doing this.

This is not just like some like light, like, yeah, we're going to have sex and have a good time and like, it's going to be great. It's like, this is some intense fucking like, shattering, yeah, literally the image apart. Yeah. Exactly. So to me, it would make sense that people who really were attracted to an alert to that would actually be kind of more sexually charged because they would have to understand that energy. That would really mean that they'd have to have more partners, although it would stand to reason that they might, but that they would have to have a greater desire for it so they could understand it.

So that to me is probably what I would say just intuitively sounds right. I don't have any, I don't think it's just a logical thing. I mean, I don't think, I don't think there's any answer for that. That's why it's interesting because I do also think people go through phases in their lives, you know what I mean, but it definitely is about the way you grow up and what people have told you about it. And there's so much more to unravel. I mean, I have to say like, I feel like I was struggling a little bit in my teens to like, not knowing about my sexuality, I was like, I'm horny all the time, but I feel like it's kind of, I don't know, I was like, so not right in my, when did you start having sex?

The 14. 14. Yeah. That's young. Early. You do. Yeah. It was like for a boy, especially. Is it? I think so. No. 15 or is that normal? It all happened in the same year I did acid for the first time. You did. Acid was 15, dude. Oh, yeah. I did a lot. Acid. That was a big year. Okay. Interesting. Yeah. So I think it was like, it took me until my early twenties to like really sink into it and to understand it more. And then there was still a lot of things like that I, that I'm still exploring, you know? Because I feel like I started to give myself permission because society never gave me permission to live that part of me or to be actually extremely sexual like I always was and gave me no permission to be like, fuck yeah, I like to fuck.

Yeah. I like it. It gives me pleasure and I don't even care. I mean, nobody calls me anything really, but I don't care if being called a slut. It's absurd concept to me. But so I think it does sometimes we get trapped in social construction or whatever that will fuck with our libido. That makes sense. It's that, you know, I guess I know you, you know, when your libido strong when even when that shit is fucking with you, you're like, man, this is not going away. Shame's not helping. Shame's not doing anything to my boner. So shamefully standing up. Oh, shit. No, but that does make a lot of sense how those societal things would affect people's and just like past relationships, past trauma, past all this stuff, stress, yeah, real right?

That's why there's by agran, all this stuff to anything to me because I have sex and masturbate a lot. When I'm stressed, I mean, everybody has like a different set up of like what turns you on and off, right? Like kind of like an accelerator and a brake pedal within us. I'm sexually speaking and when I'm stressed, I like to masturbate a lot. Like I. It's a release. Yeah, exactly. But, you know, some people they lose to libido. I'm just like, I get horny, I'm like, oh, shit, it's really. So I think it really depends. Also there is nothing wrong with a lot higher lower, you know, not everybody has to be horny all the time.

My God, it's not. And I imagine, you know, for a lot of people that does ebb and flow naturally, not even because of necessarily stress, just because like within a day, it fluctuates to, right? So yeah, God. And I saw this video is like on some TV show where, you know, this woman had orgasms all of the time. Like she had a condition. No. Oh. It was fucked up. Like it felt really bad for her. So she'd be like driving or on the bus or something. Oh my God. I'm dying. Like hundreds of times. Wow. And she's like, everyone's like, that must be so great. And she was like, I'm, this is hell for me. No, it's horrible.

I mean, I understand you in a supermarket and suddenly your orgasm. I mean, and everyone's like staring and like, what the fuck's with this chick? Whoa. All the time. Plus the sensation probably loses some of its luster after like, because you'll connect it to something that you don't want to have, because you like, please not in public, please not in public. But that's to say like, yeah, of course it would have, well, you'd want it to ebb and flow because if it didn't, you would might think any work done, man. Yeah. You can't get anything done. And then we're like, what? And it would, yeah, it wouldn't, it wouldn't be the same thing.

But yeah, that makes sense that there would be kind of a natural ebb and flow for people. But yeah, I don't know. I mean, what, so what do you think is, what do you think makes someone less inclined to be like sexually activated all the time, as opposed to someone who's like, no, no, it's just the thing. It's like sex thing. Is that a person to be more people like that? Was that a good human? Like a human being impression, sex, I don't know, take it or leave it. Well, there's probably somebody I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I do honestly think it's mainly cultural, but I, um, it also depends probably on the partner you're having and how you, you like your, like yourself, son.

So like, I want to say love yourself or something, but I think I have a beautiful relationship with my body, right? And not I'm saying it's like the way I look, but the way I touch myself and I'm with myself. Yeah. And so that I think makes me more inclined to share that too, if that makes any sense. No, it actually is, I think what I was looking for in the answer because it's just the root of everything. And of course it would apply to sex and sexuality, like how could it not? Because it's like. Actually, I think it's a major issue. That's like, yeah, I mean, and that to me is it's what opens up the kind of emotional and spiritual floodgates of sex between not just yourself, but also other people, because you can hit that spot of vulnerability and like trust, but also not have to be freaked out that like you're doing something that maybe isn't right or someone's going to take advantage of.

And that is when, yeah, there's something about that to be said though, which is said some blessing and a curse maybe if you are that in like if you live in your sexuality that much, you know, also with partners, if you don't have like one stable partner, you often, or you just talk about yourself. You can sometimes I feel myself like I give a lot of bed and like I get a lot of bed because I give a lot. I think, you know, it seems like it's like a hundred percent salary works. Yeah. It's pretty interesting, not in some sense, but sometimes I can feel like it's scary, you know, not really in the moment.

In the moment, I'm never scared because in the moment I'm fucking like, because you're in the moment. Yeah. But afterwards, I'm like, whoa, that was like, wow, you know, I'm like, holy shit, like hopefully, hopefully my body's not like attached forever to this man. Seriously. I know. Yeah, it's mainly a girls thing. I think you guys don't have it as strongly, but it can happen. You'd be surprised. I mean, yeah, I do think so because I think what you're experiencing there is more an energetic thing than a physical thing. And I think, think of it like this, many men are so not in touch with their emotions.

Yeah. You, it would be hard for them to even process that that's something that could happen. Do you know what I mean? Totally. Yeah. But it's interesting. I just dated somebody for a little bit who could only express emotions really during sex. I don't find that super surprising. Yeah. Because that's when you, if it's good sex, do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Unfortunately. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, fortunately. So, I mean, that does make sense to me because I think that's a place where people could go to experience. And when you were allowed to maybe as a dude, you know, if are you allowed to be emotional somehow or just open.

I mean, depends on your asking, yeah, I mean, again, I think it comes down to like having good sex. Yeah. If you're being open, I mean, I don't know because you can have good sex and just be like completely like serving someone else, but it can't be like a self-sacrificing type of vibe. You know what I mean? No. No. I mean, I think it's, it is fascinating. I mean, I think when you, because you can also be very turned on by sex that might be rough or that might be like in the moment and it might be outside in public or whatever the hell people get turned up, like everything anywhere, everything and anything.

So it's not just like energy can be so many different things. I guess is what I want to say. So it doesn't have to be all like the loving. I think when it gets really, when I feel raw, it's actually when it gets a little dark. The darkness of sex. You know, like kind of, you know, it's a little, it's just really, I'm really open. And then it kind of, it was a little dark sometimes. Because you work through that. That's the radical deity energy. Yeah. That's a fascinating part of it. That's actually, you know, it's funny is that's what balanced my shit out. Really? So what happened for me energetically is I had operated from the feminine so much that I didn't have control of it.

Like I was just like, it's partially from growing up around women, just partially my nature and just it was something. So I really operated from that. But then over the past like six, seven, eight months, like I really started tuning into like the divine masculine and not in like a, it just clicked for me. And that is a exactly the same time that sex got better. It's also the exact, I mean, to the fucking day, like, like, like overnight, like weird, like weird. It also got darker. It also got much more like, not like fucked up, but like it was definitely not like love and light. Do you know what I mean?

It was definitely not like love and light peace and love. And yeah, but it did coincide with that. And I think that is like, I've just feel like sex is a very good reflection of energy. Absolutely. You know, absolutely. What you have with a person, right? And it doesn't. So that's why good sex is such an odd thing to say really, right? Because you could have a loving, beautiful cosmic orgasm of love. But it's good. It's still qualified. It's still could be good in Venezuela. It's true. You're right. It's not just one thing. And then you could have really kind of like, oh, it's a little fucked up, maybe, but wow, what was that?

You know, and that's still a good sex. It's just like a different aspect of you or a different energy that you share with that person. Yeah. I mean, that is a fascinating part though, because you have sex with different people and the different energies of people. Right. And then sometimes that's a little, I mean, you know, overwhelming too. Yeah. That would be, even though I like the more energy, the better. See, well, that's the thing like that to me is where it would be really helpful if you had a way of dealing with like a spectrum of energies that you're familiar with or just like, no, oh, like this is what's going on there.

I know what to kind of like shift into not in like a passive way, but in like, okay, this is appropriate for now, like, because like, it's like you ever have a friend who's kind of like a shithead. It's just like a shitty person, kind of like you can't introduce them to some of your other friends because they're kind of an asshole. Like I don't have a lot of these people, but you may know friends who have those people. And it's like, if you can still like be friends with that person, you're kind of hanging out with an energy that's a little wonky or an weirder and that can certainly emerge in sexual encounters.

But it doesn't mean you should judge that person and be like, oh, they're a fucked up person because they're like that. It's like they're working through some shit. So if you could do that, take that same mindset into sexual encounters, like you actually have like, it's pretty sweet. You're like, you can go both, both ways, dark and light accommodate different types of energies from different people. Yeah. But multiple partners, I mean, I think it's, what do you think about people's experiences with multiple like single people or people inviting in like, what, what do you think like pulling amorous situations?

Yeah, polyamorous, polyamorous, and also also just single people out in the field doing shit. Like, what is, what's going on out there? You're curious. So, well, gosh, I mean, listen, in that sense, I'm not a good reflection of the normal person out there. I think I've, I've gone through quite a few extremes in my life of like being in a very long, very committed, very solid relationship to being single, I'm single right now, dating multiple people at the same time in different cities. And like, I mean, I've done a lot of like dating in that sense, but I've never been polyamorous with one main partner and then I would go off and like fuck somebody else.

Right. Never done that. But I've dated people at the same time. Right. Yeah. That's not necessarily, and I don't have tons of one nightstands, so I keep on sleeping with the same people and developing relationships. And then when that doesn't really work, that like goes off again, you know, but so I'm not like the typical person, I feel like, but the way I, I mean, I appreciate like most of the people I spend time with in different ways. And sometimes, you know, one person wants to be different and sometimes the other one does then, you know, explaining relationships to me. Yeah. I've heard of this principle.

Oh, but with polyamory, I mean, for me personally, I have a hard time imagining having one main partner in sharing him with tons of girls. Yeah. I honestly, I don't know. I do think to each their own, absolutely, like more power to you, if you, if you thrive in that kind of relationship, I can't really see it for myself. Yeah. Uh, I'm not a very jealous person, but that there's something about it, that yeah, not because I want to possess him because I think that is like the argument with polyamory. So I was like, if you love somebody so much, you let them free to explore. You enjoy that they get to see different things in this world or whatever, dick, different dick in this world.

So I get the idea of that, but I don't know, it's not that for some people it is for real. I have some friends to talk about it where I'm like, wow, I believe you actually, I think that's totally how you feel. And it's cool that there's so many different ways of living a relationship right now. Yeah. It is cool. It is cool. You think that the monogamy aspect of a long term committed relationship is a very interesting. It just to me energetically in the world, what it feels like is like shit is just getting smashed to blithereens like in every area and it feels like if that's true, then even these concepts of relationships are also doing that, but I think there's also something to be said for knowing who you are and what you want and being like, this is fine, like this is fine.

This is how I feel. And monogamy is not an easy thing. I mean, you can mean people cheating on each other since there's no one I mean, yeah, for a variety of reasons, men, women, everybody, you know, everybody, no, but like, that is like a very typical thing to happen, I would say, right, that somebody gets cheated on or cheats or and I, and so clearly there's often a problem with monogamy. But I think that it might not be just a problem with monogamy, but the way people communicate about sex. Yes. So that is way bigger problem than monogamy because that's a concept anyways. So how would you relate that to your idea of not really wanting someone to be who you're with to be with other women while you're with them?

How does the sex fit into that? Well, because I think honestly, I mean, we'll say, you know, but I think you can with a partner, if you're both really open, I mean, we just talked about practices like Tantra, you can go so deep and so far with a person that you might not even want to fuck somebody just randomly in a bar. See now, I think this is accurate. I do think this is accurate. And I think that's why sometimes on those donkeys, you see the main deity or goddess and their consort, but sometimes there are like four other Dakinis below. It's like this very interesting and it's not always like that.

It's like this. There are these permutations of like this energy is related to that. Yeah, I very much know what you're talking about. Like I very much, I think that's and that vision and knowledge, I think is worth maintaining in that because it's like, yeah, yeah, I get it. I mean, it also doesn't mean like I'm not necessarily clearly, as I said, I had a long relationship and non single, I think in that relationship between and single again, you know, you, I don't know if we are made for one partner for all of our lives, right? From the first time you have sex until you die, I'm not sure if as an animal, we were kind of like swans like swans, yeah, maybe there's a few swans or penguins or something.

I think swans. Also, penguins might also make for like two. I think so. Birds. They're into it. They're into it. Yeah. I mean, they love monogamy. Yeah. The whole life. Yeah. But don't you think? I mean, it would seem improbable to me personally that the first person you would have sex with would be the only person for the rest of your life. Well, that happened. It used to happen, right? But like, I think is it something that we as a species are made to do? I mean, species emotionally, psychologically, it seems no. It seems no. It seems big time now. It seems like, no. Very improbable. Yeah. Like, why would this doesn't seem like it would make sense?

It doesn't really add up. Also, if you look at like old tribes, ancient tribes and cultures, it doesn't really look like that was what's going on. Yeah. It is this weird inflection point, though, because yeah, I do think it does have to do with what you're saying, though. It has to do with people understanding who they are, like as sexual people and as themselves and that can give you the clarity on how to navigate this other shit. Without that, it is kind of like just a minefield. But for example, actually, have you ever been like turned on like you're in a committed relationship and you're go to a bar or whatever and you flirt with somebody and you kind of really turned on?

I think in that scenario, but you don't do anything because you don't want to cheat. I don't want to be disrespectful, obviously, but if you really, I wonder, right? This is a question, really. If you could take that energy home and you could actually have some kind of a, I mean, fun, depending on your partner, right? But somehow take that turned on as shared with your partner and then have sex with that energy. That sounds pretty awesome. I'm just wondering, you know, if you can actually transform things without, because it's not that we have to stop, if you're in monogamy, you can't stop yourself from feeling things.

You know what I mean? That is a really fucking good point and I, and I would say yes, you can do that. I'm sure there are people who do that because a lot of people get off and a lot of things. Yeah. Yeah. Like sending their partner out to go flirt with someone while they watch and then going home and specifically doing that. But yeah, no, but like, have it just organically happened and then being able to use that energy, that sounds really like a smart thing. That sounds awesome. I mean, it's an idealistic idea right now, but I was just thinking about it in the sense of monogamy and being very open sexually with your partner in communication and physically, where maybe there would be a space for all that within a relationship.

I don't know. It might be a lot to ask to ask for, you know, but like in a sense, well, because you're blurring the lines by doing that for a lot of people and that is not a stable ground and what I think a lot of people like in relationships is the stability and comfort. Yeah, I get it. So I think it's fucking cool though. And I think that is why, you know, relationships in the future and just in general, they do need to be like, they don't need to be anything. But if you can be conscious of what you're bringing to and your partner can, you just, it seems like things would be easier when also really, let's be really realistic, like all the unspoken stuff and all the things you're not exploring with your partner sexually or mentally, really emotionally, they'll come out in other ways.

So yeah, I mean, if you never talk about anything, something else is going to happen, like it's not going to go over well, I think, unless you're just ignoring everything until the end of your life. But if you want to have a deeper connection and a deeper relationship, you might have to look at some things that are not as pretty, you know? Yes, I do know. And this gets to the idea of shadow work. I'm catching your vibe now with the, with the darkness stuff. It's good. If people need more of this because I think what happens in a lot of the, you know, it's probably from like the plant medicine stuff is there's a tendency to get very love and lady with a lot of stuff sex included, but just like a lot of stuff.

But it's not accurate in terms of a dualistic world of how things are. And that lack of accuracy turns into a lack of authenticity, typically, because it's like people are hiding away the shadow aspects. Yeah. And then like you said, like if you hide away shadow aspects of yourself or in a relationship, they will 100% pop up and late the worst time, most likely to, because it's a shadow aspect and it doesn't give a fuck. It's just like, this is coming out. You push me down. I'm coming out now. So it really like so much of this has to do with open and honest communication, not only about like, Hey, well, these things make me feel good.

But also like this makes me like, this is a weird thing, like this is something I, you know, need to work through or something like that, because that is like, it seems like kind of the primary function of relationships, right? Like we're working through our ship, yeah. But it is obviously complicated because you put something, I think it's also because we are told everything has to be so perfect and cute and pride and perfect, you know? Also like negative feelings are to be pushed away, not to be like acknowledged and then work through and let go a positive way. You know, I mean, it's a, I mean, clearly if you go into these places with your partner, you'll have a lot more to talk about, right?

You're not going to say the your scariest thought and then we'll just like move on, right? We'll probably have to talk about that for a little bit or work through that a little bit. Actually, yes, it's, it's, it depends on the level of commitment you or what you want from a relationship maybe to, right? And I think again, it's all about this communication, right? I mean, it's just the focal point of how any foundation would work in anything in life and like true, not even just like intimate sexual things, but just like friendships and stuff like that. Like you need to like this and like people naturally do this.

It doesn't always have to be like some explicitly said thing, but it is like understanding like how to help each other and like work through and helping sometimes looks like working through shit. That's like this sucks and it's uncomfortable, but being able to maintain and recognize that and not like fucking let it destroy because like this dark energy, the shadow stuff, it does have the propensity to destroy and it does sometimes. Yeah. And destruction. If applied to like a limited version of a relationship or yourself is wonderful, destruction applied to just everything, usually not going to get you in like the happiest place, but it is still an effective energy.

Usually. Usually. I mean, it depends on your personality. You might just fucking love it. It depends on your job too. I mean, I feel like, you know, like some warrior, you know, from the past, maybe destruction was a good thing to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Raise it all to the ground. You just got to fucking go fight and fucking blow shit up. So just got to warrior at all. Warrior energy is a real thing. It is. It's a real fucking thing. Also in bed. Of course it is like it because what I think is trippy about sex is it's this fluid interplay of energies. It's literally like there's a motion to it that there's a fluidity to it, but there's also like if you could imagine it, like you're shifting into different energetic bodies and like different things and that sometimes looks like a warrior being like I'm fucking the shit out of this.

And also for women like this out of this body. All right. Yeah. I got it. You got it. Also for women like embodying like a fucking like I'm a badass bitch right now, I'm going to fucking handle my business. Like all this stuff is in there, but it shifts not just for like, okay, that was what we just did. We're for sex, but it's shifting like moment to moment and it has to because otherwise you're not in the moment, right? Right. If you coming in like a porn performer, playing down a movie, doing all the moves that the dude did on that, you know, if you do, I mean, a lot of people come and perform, right?

Like, because we see it in porn and it's like posted all over like this is like how sex works kind of even the porn is a fantasy and it's totally legitimate as that, but people confuse it, right? Because if you go in and you like you play down like a one, two, three, right? You'll never connect to that person. So it's a routine. Exactly. So you need to go moment by moment and then the energy will shift constantly between the two of you. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, ideally. It is. I just feel like shit is going to get real interesting and weird with sex stuff in the next. I'm just like people's understanding of what sex is I think is going to evolve like very quick.

Gosh, I really hope so. I really do think that. It's sometimes kind of dire looking at like, yeah, it was, but you know, I wouldn't get too caught up in the statistics because I think a lot of times you'll see anecdotal sure evidence that things are changing and that can be a pretty big sign that like there's a groundswell. Like, because the statistics can only get there. Yeah. No, I'm talking more about like social media and the media itself and stuff. I mean, we don't have to dive into that, but there's really, um, we've gotten a way more conservative within the art world and or with what can be published and stuff, but just saying that as a trend is like, I do see both fractions being very strong right now, working kind of against each other, not even against like, you know, there's, um, a huge like female pleasure movement.

Yeah. That I'm part of, you know, and then there's a lot of artists in that realm that I work with and communicate with and also a lot of struggle still. And I, but I see people like people, people like working through a lot of this shit, like in couples, out of couples, a single people, and it, to me, these conversations weren't even being had. That is true. Ten years ago. People talk way more openly about sex. I mean, that's hard from crazy me, but yeah, no people like in general, like this is how I, I get perspective on things is like hearing it from other people because otherwise, listen, when I love the power of imagination, it is ultimately all your own thoughts and chip, but like the mirrors of other people can sometimes make it a little easier to understand what's going on collectively.

So yeah, it does seem like people are working through their personal ideas of what sex is and also like kind of the broader relationship aspect of these things, which just by talking about it would have to be the first step, right? Yeah. It would have to be. That's where we are, that's why I say in the next few years, like the sex stuff, just because I think there's some subtle nuance shit that is happening and we're just now like, we've known about it and felt it, but now it's like, hey, like it's really kind of like revealing itself, like what the fuck is going on here? I do think that the more women embrace their sexuality with themselves, it will be a massive change within sexual connections, because so many women have not, they've shown up in the bedroom or whatever the hell you want to have sex, you know, also as performers, as pleasers, as not connected to their bodies, being ashamed of their bodies, thinking they smell bad that tastes bad, he just wants to put it in and like it's down, this is it, and they're not going to come anyways.

This is changing radically. I can see it and I can feel it, still, sometimes I'm afraid I'm in a bubble, but I do feel like there is even a pop culture shift to making that more acceptable for girls to be like, hey, listen, I love my body, I love my sexuality, I want to share that, but there's also a few things that I'm expecting from you, you know, like going down on a girl. But I do think you're right, I mean, I think if that changes and then when men do not feel ashamed for an MS Kalinity, right, in our, in that, because it's, it's both people's job. Yeah. Right. Then we'll have very different sex.

I collect them. And it seems like these, it seems like there are some people now who are doing this, not a lot in my experience, but some. And there seems like a lot of people are interested in getting to that point. That to me is like an important thing before where it's like, you can just see like someone's just like, they just want to have sex. It's just their drive, it ends kind of at like, I want sex and like, that's really the whole point. That there's, I've seen, even in people who have been like that their entire lives, something shift in like the past year or two years where it's like, they're actually looking for something a little bit more than just the physical gratification, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Not at all. But it does become a little boring, if it's just the physical, I mean, I love to come, don't get me wrong, right? I love having an orgasm, but there's different kinds of orgasms. Actually, it's just a good question for you because I asked this like a lot of guys. Do you feel like every orgasm feels the same to you or different? The guys really say it feels the same. Some do, dude. Oh my God. Is that so weird? I couldn't believe it. I was like, I haven't had the same orgasms. Was it great every time or was it just like, that's an orgasm? Oh my God, that sounds. It's not crazy. Okay. I think they're not very connected.

Well, then that would make sense. I 100% there is a huge spectrum. Right. I mean, that's what I would think. I mean, for girls, for sure. I mean, I literally have not had to say orgasms. I will say the bottom end of that spectrum is seldom experienced, but it does happen. Like sometimes it's just like, I barely felt that was like, that was weird. Like I physically felt it, but like that was nothing and it could be nothing to do with a partner. It could be alone. It could be anything. 100% there's a spectrum. I have tried to be more intentional. So what I do a lot of times with sex now is I will imagine how I want to feel at the end of it.

And wait, how far before depends. Okay. Malleable. Like when I was before, or like two days before. Totally malleable. Yeah, there would be no, there would be no time aspect to that. Because what I found is, is if you really believe that, if that's really like a conviction of yours, it will inevitably happen. So if you like picture the end of it, like you could think of it if it's just not sex, like a dinner. Like if you're going to like a fancy nice dinner and you wanted it to be good, and just imagine the end where you're like, that was great. I have found that reality and yourself, you tend to shuffle into the things that need to happen to get you to that point.

You know, to the degree that I can remember to be intentionally focused on that, it kind of like gets you up in the upper ring of the orgasms. Like where I would put the cosmic kind of one you're defining. That probably for me, it's not, I don't, I don't, I hesitate to say the pinnacle because I think there's other gradients of that that are also like really fucking good and not related to that like holy shit, but it's like still feels really good in a different kind of way. But that's like those are the echelons and I think if you use this imagination stuff or whatever it is in a specific way and know how to use it, it actually like it works really like kind of crazy.

Well kind of like sometimes it feels like I want to try this now. Oh, it's so hack my own sex life. Yeah, you hack everything, you hack everything. That's how it works. It doesn't mean everything moves smoothly all the time when you're hacking things like if you jump cut, if you like change your life big time like inside these jump cuts will be like fucking like whoa, like turbulence, oh shit, but I do think the more you kind of get comfortable doing things like that to any aspect in your life, it gets way smoother. It's like it gets way even if it's a big jump. It's like smooth kind of do it, but for the sex stuff, 100% that's fascinating.

I haven't because I've done like some, I listened to your imagination exercises. Are you gonna apply to sex stuff? I haven't know. What do you do? Me of all people, right? Well, I guess because I'm not so worried about sex life, I guess, but like, um, I don't know. That's such a fact. I'm totally gonna try that. I don't do it every time. I can't account for every sexual thing, but it is something that like especially, um, if there's a level of anticipation or you just want to nail it, no pun intended, you just want to fucking, you know what? Let's make sure that that is good. Um, it's actually funny.

It's not true. And one of my imaginations scenes is their sex. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm totally lying. It's like how horny are you if you're not doing this like, I was like going through my little scenes that I prepared and I'm like, I have in my head and I was like, Oh, yeah, there's totally a sex. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It really happens that about it. And like, I'm going to see this do later, like, this is how I'm going to feel at the end of some. Try it. And you don't have to just do it at night. You can do it whenever. It's one of these things where it really does kind of show you the power of that because it's like, whoa, what the fuck?

And it's not just you. It's not like it's just you were better at it. It's like the person will be better at it. It's like a whole thing. So it's like, it kind of like, it's a mind fuck in a lot of ways. Yeah. Cause you're like, whoa, that should just shuffled into exactly how I wanted to feel. I want to try this tonight. Yeah. Why wouldn't you? The game here, it's pretty awesome. So yeah, definitely use it for that. That is so super fascinating. I may have us thinking about it. So I'm not going to tell you the scene anyways, but there's a feeling that I had with a person. And I wonder if you've ever had this and it's not the cosmic orgasm, but it's also in that realm.

Like you said, it's a different kind of on the spectrum of transcendence. And you feel like, and it's different because you do, because you're penetrating, right? And I'm receiving. It felt like, I mean, first of all, melting together anyways, like him inside of me, but also like you're fucking the other soul or you're like kissing the other soul if you want to say it in a little bit of a nicer way. And that's part of my imagination. Like I want that moment of like complete these two energies coming together and like melting. That is that is the quite literally like that is what sex is to I mean, obviously not all of the sex I've had.

I would say actually a very small percentage of it relatively speaking has been like that, but that is the goal. That is the goal. Yeah. And I don't see why that can't be a relatively common experience. You're right. Actually. Yeah. But it needs it needs to people. Well, that's the thing. So this is where I think the game is like is is getting people to tap into that so they can be more consciously present. It's a weird point in time right now because I think like there has to be people who are like trailblazers in this. And it's going to be like the trailblazers are going to seem sometimes like fucking crazy people.

Oh, I'm pretty fucking crazy. Yeah. But I do think that that is tantric sex, like all the stuff and people think tantra. That's like usually what they think is just the sex act, but it really is a very, it's a desire vehicle for transcendence and yeah, the genuine pursuit of it, of which those imaginal techniques in Zogchen, like that's what they're pretty much having you do. It's all imaginal stuff. You're just like intense visualizations. I think it's a big part of what's happening for people because sex is going to be something that people are doing. It's going to be something that, and at least in the Buddhist conception, beings, humans would be conceived.

The way it happens in the barto states is the being would be attracted to the sex that the parents were having and that would bring the being into incarnation. So you could see that if people were doing this in like that cosmic, you know, gradient way, who would be summoned would be like, I as my shit, it would be a completely different thing. I very much convinced that over time, we will see this continue to happen. And it is a byproduct of people like healing themselves sexually, like Marvin Gaye was saying really truthfully. Totally. But I mean, I think this, that's a funny thing about sexual energy.

It is not just about sex. No. Right? I mean, if you talk about Kundalini energy and that being the life force. Right. So that you can use sexual energy for creative work, but you can use a sure just loving somebody. You don't need to penetrate or like fuck something in order to have sexual energy released or work with it. Anyways, I mean, this is what in Tantra they talk about all the time. This is why they have this whole thing where you don't have sex for a while because you want to keep your, you don't come, right? I gotta learn. I gotta learn more about this. You're making yourself not orgasm in order to keep the energy within you and you build it up and build it up, right?

And you feed yourself more and more and more without ever releasing. That's the idea a little bit like that. So you harnessing that energy, that's sexual energy. And then you can use it for anything. Right? It doesn't, you don't, you don't have to have it released within the sexual act necessarily. But you know, a lot of people don't even live from their sexual energy. Like they're so afraid of it that they can live from, I mean, also as a woman, it's sometimes actually complicated, right? To live from the sexual energy, right? Also for men too. It's true. Yeah. It's true actually. Yeah. It is, it is like a very complicated thing to do, right?

But at the same time, you're denying like some part of like life force. A major part of it. A major part of it. This is one of the best conversations about sex that I've ever had in my life. I haven't had that many so it's like, but it's just, there's so many different topics that I haven't thought about, but I'm, as we're speaking about them, are just like making more sense to me, just like energetically like released, like in the worldly, like it's just a lot of good stuff. I want to talk about the one, one other thing we can talk for a very long time. Right. Yeah, we can. Plant medicine. Yes.

How does that fit into your life and how did you get into doing this? And yeah, what's that whole journey been like for you? Well, that's an interesting, um, I, I wonder how I would say it started. Well, I mean, I did grow up in a, um, I grow up in a Buddhist community. It was not much to do with plant medicine, but to do with, my mom was a lot into like energy healing and there was a lot of different people around some more capable, some less, I think who could actually be healers or not. Yes. Um, so I grew up with a lot of different things like that and, um, so it's kind of normal for me, like an Eastern medicine herbal medicine, you know, in that sense, I was never like, oh, that shit doesn't work, but it was pretty much the first thing we ever gotten, you know, yeah, yeah.

Um, so I think in that sense, I was already pretty open and spiritually that's just because they touched so weird in a spiritual realm, like not completely unfamiliar with what these concepts mean. Right. Right. But when I, um, I think I started, I mean, I started doing more like plant medicine work, maybe about like a year and a half ago, um, really that's when it really like started for me and I, um, I did something called five M.E.O. DMT. What did you do? Uh, the toad. Boofo. Yeah. Boofo. You did boofo. I know it. I haven't done it before. I, um, how was that? What was that like? I mean, there's no worse to describe this, but do the, do the best you can.

I know. Well, so first of all, it's a, I mean, it's the strongest psychedelic on the planet. Oh, yeah. Hundred times stronger than regular DMT. Exactly. And the toad from a toad, um, the glands of a toad, um, so it's natural, but I mean, it's a, it's called a near death experience. Did you vape it? Ego experience. I vape it. Yeah. I mean, looks like a crack pipe or something. Unity consciousness. Right? Huh. Unity consciousness is what I. Exactly. So you do die. I mean, you think you die. Right. Um, it activates parts of your brains that make you feel like you're going to die and even though the shaman or whatever, whoever facilitates it says you're not going to, you're not going to, when it's happening, you're like, Oh, I'm going to be the only person who has ever died.

Yeah. Um, and then, then you die and then then clearly, I mean, there is like the sense of like being part of everything. There's an ecstasy and a joy of like, feeling every part of the universe in, you know, that you're the, you're the root that is exactly that's beyond imagination. And then it's actually even fascinating because in that space and then you, you, you wake up again, right? You come out of your trip and for me, that was a really wavy experience, like it would come up and be like kind of awake and like go back in. And that was like, like in the craziest orgasm, but not super sexually, but like my whole body was just like throbbing and joy and like vibrating on like this crazy frequency.

So I had that experience, not everybody does, right? It's a can go either way. It can go. It can also go darker, you know, um, it can go with a lot of fear can come with a lot of fear of dying. You don't let that shit go. I'll pull you right to it. Well, that's a funny thing because I, I had some, I had some friends who did it and they were talking about like, I was fighting it. I was fighting it. I couldn't die. When I went, I thought I didn't have a choice. Yeah. I was like, you're just like, you had a choice? Like I was literally like, Oh, fuck. I'm dying. All right. Let's go. Yeah. Yeah. That was kind of like when I did.

That was my intro. So you started with five and you had never done any psychedelic before. I've only done mushrooms before that. How like how well versed were you with mushrooms? Not very. Wow. No, no, no. It opened up a whole new world. So you died. So I died. Cool. Cool. Cool. Well, then I mean, the integration is like the most important part. I think. It's pretty important. Yeah. I mean, I mean, some say like it's 90% of the work really, right? Because you can get high many times, like people who have done hundreds of ayahuasca trips and seem like they have no better grasp. It's fun. I've met him.

Yeah. I'm sure you have. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Also meet other people, right? But like, yeah. After that, I think I took a little bit, not a break, but like I integrated for a little bit after that trip. I think it was so intense and so many things started unraveling for me. And I thought it was absolutely fascinating. I mean, I've been in therapy a few times in my life and I know a lot about psychology. So I was like, it became so fascinating to have something to trigger you so fast to see your own patterns. It was just, I mean, it sometimes is also hard. Yeah. I started doing like some journey work, which is like, you know, you go and do some plant medicine with a shaman and I sometimes, you know, you come out and you have like so much clarity and then it just is like, oh, holy shit.

You know, I can see my patterns so clearly and not all of them are so beautiful. Yeah. I'm familiar with that experience. You got to love those two. That's the truth. No, they're actually probably more valuable almost always in my experience. Yeah, because they, they actually show you things and you do know you have the power to change them. Yeah. As soon as you see them, you're like, oh, I actually, I run the ship. Yeah. I see it. So now I can change it. If I didn't see it, I didn't know it was there. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. I run the ship. I can stare it in the other way. So how often do, or do you still do plant medicines, like how does this fit into your life these days?

I do. Yeah, maybe one or two months I go to ceremony where now cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Very lame. Very lame people. It's everywhere. It is everywhere. I know. But here it's like so much more like it's a thing here. It's certainly a thing here, but it is in a lot of places because I think what people get out of it is that layer of insight that otherwise maybe was more difficult to see those patterns for a lot of people. There are for as many of them who it's helpful for. There is also, of course, people who just don't have it, hit them in the same way. Also it really depends, you know, I think your intention, I mean, clearly your intention is important.

But like some people, they already know they don't want to look at shit. And so they don't even come very close, you know? Yeah, that's what... Your death experience doesn't sound very attractive to a lot of people. Yeah. I mean, even I was like, "Oh, wow, why the fuck new deaths?" Well, not really my favorite thing to think about, but it was one of the best things I've ever experienced. You know, I think our relationship to death is one that as we kind of rectify and heal that, people will start to see it as not such a bad thing and it'll be actually pretty positive because I had... I did Changa for the first time.

I had DMT, Smokeable GMT like a month ago. I think I told you about this and I didn't... You did. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I definitely died. Like there was definitely a point where I was like... You felt like you... I was like, I had to like die as me. I was still me, but like me as Noah was like dead. And that was literally the blast off point. It's like when I left my body, when I was still me, but not me anymore, that's when all the good shit started to happen. So I feel like this is what I think we're doing literally every second of every piece of time regardless. Yeah. You know what I thought it was so fascinating because I grew up with Buddhism, you know, and the way they are talking about the path to enlightening or enlightenment anyways.

It's so fascinating to me because they use all these practices right in the meditations and I'm not saying plant medicine is cheating the system, but it gives you a glimpse in you have of you being unattached, like not attached, right? And that is so special because it later on came into my meditation in a very different way where I now, it's like I opened up something in my... Because I saw it once, right? I experienced it. Like I was talking to this shaman and he was saying... So psychedelics or plant medicine he really talks about. He said, it's not a language of words. It's one of experience.

It's a language of experience. Right. Direct experience. That's the whole thing. Right. And your body and mind and soul will remember an experience, an experience I can't even talk about. Experience. And then you understand it within you, but it's not easy to talk about in words alone. And they don't seem to be able to carry all its... It's a deeper layer. It's like symbolically resonant, whereas words... We can do a decent job with words these days, I think more than ever before. Like we're getting complex enough to kind of like... And even if it's not words, just like words combined with expression and tonality, it does help.

Of course. Yeah, the meat of this stuff is always a little more ethereal and it's just... It's harder to pin down into stuff. But I do... But you can go into a space more often if you have experience that you can meditate without taking any plant medicine. That's what I do. That's what I do. I do that too. And then you just go into that space very fast. That's what I do. Because you know it. Pretty much. All the time now. And I use it... I don't think it's surprising at all that you were... What kind of Buddhist community was it? It's Kamakatsu, which is Diamond Way. It's a very small path. It's Tibetan Buddhism.

I knew it. You know Melorepa? Yeah. Of course. Yeah. So I think an energy that's been coming through, at least for me, is like you know what was it? 10,000 or 100,000 songs of Melorepa. It's like this. Yeah. So you know he just like basically goes around to all of these places and like he just like sings. He calls them songs but he even admits like he's just like... Yeah. I'm going to sing you this song. Like you rock demoness. Like in all your... Like here's this song about enlightenment. They're like, "Thanks Melorepa." And then like... He keeps going. And like he's like, "That one." The rock demoness is like, "No.

I'm bad." And he's like, "No. Listen to this. It's really good." And she's like, "Oh maybe it's good." And it's like this whole thing. And then he goes back to the town and they're like, "Thanks Melorepa that's fucking great. Stay with us forever." And he's like, "I can. I got to go do other stuff." I feel like that energy is very prominent for people who can recognize. Meditation for what it really is, which is not closing your eyes and fighting with your mind. It's just being in a state of awareness where you're like, "Oh okay. I get it." Like, "Oh that thing that fucking trips me up in the outside world is just a projection of my own mind and I can fucking identify it and chill out."

That to me seems like a big dominant energy for people who have been connected to Tibetan Buddhism in one way or another. It's like this ability to actually be in the world and fucking be like, "Hey, shit's not so bad if you've got to know what's going on." Totally. I mean it's a struggle, right? I'm not saying this is like, but I think if you're able to go into that place and become calm with yourself, I mean it's all connected and yet you can connect that back to sexuality. You know what I mean? For sure. Or do anything really, but that you're okay with being with yourself. And just, I don't know, if you go into that space, it feels more like home than anything else.

Right. And you can take it with you. That's what another rapper was doing, right? That's what he was doing more than anything else. He was going to all these remote, crazy places that no one, like there's demons there, there's all this shit. And he was basically like, "I'm always at home because I recognize what the fuck is going on. Like this dreamlike world is quite literally a lusory and a dream and not in like a bad and scary way, but in like a, "Oh, I get it kind of way and I'm always at home wherever I go." And yeah, that, if that can be embedded into sex, well, actually I do sometimes I've done this like with one partner to try, it's not funny, but it was like an exercise I did for myself, try to meditate while he's going down on me.

For sure. Why not? That's what's fucking amazing. Yeah, I was like, I'm just going to try. You're hacking some shit there. I was like, I want to try it because I mean, I don't, you know, maybe I won't come at all if I go and meditate while he's doing it. Who knows? And maybe I'll come really hard, you know, or hard, it's like amazing or whatever. But it just to allow myself to let go of any preconceptions and to like not look at the time or like how close am I or like, you know. Just let it be. Making it happen because as a girl, you can also like do things to make it happen faster theoretically.

And it was really amazing. I bet it was because you're actually letting the experience happen, which is a very satisfying thing because my, again, my direct experience has validated that everything we experience here has already been imagined by us at some point, subconsciously. So to actually allow it to fully take place does bring that home meditative state. When it doesn't feel like that, we're usually pushing against this world and be like, oh, I have to get here faster or when is this thing going to happen or like I have to worry about that. We're pushing against something that's been pre imagined.

And as we continue to do that, it's like this looping back effect where it's, which is why people do spiral sometimes when they just start like fucking pushing back against reality, fuck this. So the opposite is also true. Right. Yeah. But I used to. I used to get really bad. Yeah. I used to too. And now I don't really have it anymore. I have it, but I don't have it really at all. But here's what happens when I notice it flare up, usually get it when someone's going slow, like really slow. I'm like, why are you going? I was like, why are you going so slow? Why are you going 10 miles per hour below to be like, why?

It's incredible. It makes me crazy. What I started to do, and I in New York, where I in Hudson Valley, they're one lane. It's one lane. Both things. And there's double yellow lines. Most of the time. So you were fucking stuck. So I know that I'm stuck here. So what I do is I go, Oh, I noticed Miller Epic did this. He goes, I know that I noticed these feelings come up, like me getting like, ah, and then I go, Oh shit. Thank you, slow person. Hey, I know I'm going to be there on time. I know I'm going to be there at the perfect time, even if I'm late, it's the perfect time. So I don't have to worry about that.

That's out of my head. Boom. Don't worry about the impact on the person, whatever it's going to be fine. I start actually really appreciating the difficult person who's going slow because it brings up this thing and I get to fucking trans and I'm like, Oh, can I like send this person like love and not a weird way now? Can I not? Let me make this a game. Can I not be mad? Can I just totally shift into slow mode and be like, yes, slow is great. You eventually get really good at doing that. And why like driving is a really good thing to practice it with is like, you're really teaching your mind something important there just seems like you're slowing down.

But what you're learning to do is when some shit starts to agitate you, you have this practice of being like, Oh, maybe this doesn't agitate me at all. I'm like, you don't want to be like a weirdo. Like if someone's punching in the face, be like, Oh, I love this. But like it does, it does have like a kind of like, well, with the punching in a face, there might be a different aspect to it as well. But I mean, I do think that is also a little bit of a concept of Buddhism. But as a metaphor, you're like the ocean, right? And emotions are like waves on your ocean. So they come and go right that nothing you'll never never going to be happy forever.

You're not going to be sad forever. So if you actually can catch yourself and be like, Oh, how fascinating I'm having I'm having this emotion right now. Wow. So angry at the stranger. Yeah. All right. Okay. And then you just let it pass through you and often it just goes away so fast, you know, that's a thing. It's because it's not really. If you can catch yourself. Yeah. Emotions are interesting. So I Buddhism is very weird because I think some of the Western translations, especially related to desire are fucked. Like they're just wrong. I think they were taught wrong. I don't think that it was something wrong with Buddhism.

I think it was a lack of Yeah, that's true, but also a lack of Tibetan Buddhist understanding the Westerners mind and understanding that people like are self loathing in the West, like just foreign concepts like, you know, the story when they told the dialogue, he's like, what's that? He's like, what's self hatred? I don't know if that is. You're like, Oh, yeah, like when you hate yourself, he's like, yeah, we don't know about that here. It's like shit. Sounds good. But desire, I have found an emotions in particular. When directed consciously are really good vehicles for propelling yourself up the ladder of ascension or the spiral of ascension, just because they're so present that recognizing the impermanence and wave like nature of them, for sure.

But also knowing that, Hey, can I ride this fucking wave to the top and get the juice out of it? Recognize I'm still the whole ocean and yeah, it does seem to have this effect. And it is like, there's always playful, right? Right? Playful way. That's the thing. All right. Let's I asked, gosh, I don't even know how many we do this. This is awesome. So I end with, is there anything I didn't bring up that you want to talk about? Oh my God. I mean, we can talk forever. I know. We don't want to bore anybody. I don't think I know I was finding this boring TV to be there. I'm pretty sure I know my audience and I think people are into it.

Check out my podcast, post the church. If you want to. Yeah. On my network too. Yeah. What episode would you tell people to start with? Oh, Lord. People have been asking me to something like that's actually a good question. I don't. It's a really great question. I've never thought about it. Posting my church is the first one that came out, but I kind of dig. Which one do I like a lot? And this becoming cliterate is kind of fun. Ooh. That's a nice name. Yeah. Big dig energy. I like it. Big dig energy. That's good. That's a good one. I'll catch you one. So I end with three questions and then an open ended practical question.

So what is your favorite color? Purple. What is your favorite number? Six. What is your favorite animal? A lion. Cool. A jaguar? I don't know. Why are you asking me? I don't know. I'm going to change. I'm going to change. Shagua. You're asking me. I don't know. Don't know your favorite animal. Last question. What's a practical tip that's helped you in your life that you could share with people listening and could be anything practical? Not anything? Oh my god. Practical tip. Do I seem very... Practical. You have practical tips. I'm sure. I'm sure. Practical tips. Oh, so when you spill red wine, you can take salt.

Table salt. Table salt. Table salt, yeah. I mean, I've done it even with like Malayan, whatever, but so if you spill it on some fabric and you can use salt and you rub it in and you leave it there for like half an hour and then with a wet cloth, you can basically wash it off or out of your shirt and it will be gone. It will be gone on on. That is a really good practical tip. It's like the definition of practical. I do. I was like, what do I do? That's a practical tip. Yeah. Laura, thank you so much. Thank you. [MUSIC] [MUSIC] [MUSIC] Just did a lot of things in between recording the intro and the outro.

Go check out Laura at Pussy Church and Tales of Laura links all over the place. Come on. You know what it is. Big thanks to Ned for sponsoring this episode and other episodes that they do. Go use the code Sink, S-Y-N-C at Hello, Ned.com. Get their products because they're fucking cool. That's it. Listen to music. Songs or spells. Have you realized you're a ghost yet? Have you walked through fire to save your life yet? Does anyone want to organize my tweets for me so I can just read them off in episodes because I've been doing that? Jake, yo. Hit me up. Also, for people who've been trying to call me on the telephone where I am, I don't get cell phone service, really.

So find another way. I guess only if you have Apple devices because of iChat, that's fucked up. But it works. I'm saying that for anyone who's been trying to reach me and thinks maybe I'm avoiding them. I am not. Most likely. No, I'm not. That's it for this week. I will see you next week with a solo cast and another guest. I'm racking up the guests. We'll probably have to do two in one week coming up based on the schedule. So stay tuned for that. Enjoy the fun times and happy imagining. Polymarker is proud to be the world's top choice to trade football. You mean soccer? Right. Soccer. Polymarker is proud to be the world's top choice to trade soccer.

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