Death and Rebirth with Lacey Free

Welcome to Synchronicity, I just got a new bong that took forever to get here because when I ordered it, they didn't say it was coming from the Netherlands, so that was a whole fucking thing. Anyway, that's not the point. I guess this week is Lacey Free. You're going to love Lacey. If you don't know who Lacey is, go check out on Jess's podcast. She's been on there. You don't know Jess is. What the fuck are you doing? Yeah, it's going to be awesome. Quick before we get to the episode, can I say just a quick, quick, quick, quick note about the fucking awesome people at Ned, the CBD Full Spectrum Hemp Oil Company that's been sponsoring this podcast for well over a year.

Some of the nicest guys I've ever met, Rhett and Adrienne, they continue to sponsor a show during a pandemic, getting that medicine out to the people who need it. What would you use CBD for maybe? Well, maybe to de-stress and purify your soul. Cannabis is a wonderfully healing plant and I can't wait for the Ned guys until they can start selling real weed. When they sell weed, I'm going to buy that shit. Anyway, use the code SYNC, right? Go to hello. I'm giving the code out before you go there. Hello Ned.com. Use the code SYNC, S-Y-N-C, check it out. You get 15% off every order. That's pretty fucking cool.

For the people who have been using it and sending me how fucking awesome it is, yeah, I know. And I also, in case you didn't know, magically bless every single one. And then I just do that, just so the people who think I can't do that, just to show them that I can. So it's the best. Anyway, go there. Hello Ned.com. Use the code SYNC, S-Y-N-C, check out. You get 15% off. Okay, let's get to this episode. Lacey. She's a shadow witch, so that's pretty cool. This episode, we get into a lot of stuff that's going on right now, where Lacey finds herself kind of in a cabin, not kind of in a cabin, up in the woods.

There's a lot going on. I like this episode because I think about three quarters of the way through. She starts giving, okay, let's back this up a little bit. I talk about how your imagination, your consciousness, your sense of I-M, what you believe to be true, literally shapes your world completely. You are the center of the universe in that sense, because you are the universe. It's all your stuff. There are people who believe that suffering and pain, and we're going to, the whole episode next solo cast is going to be on pain. That one's going to be on the Patreon coming out in a few days. That pain and suffering certainly are a part of being human being, right?

In duality, for anything great, there's going to be something bad, but both triumph and failure are illusions. They're not actually true. It's our perception about them and how we engage with them that give them their kind of juice, their energy, their emotional resonance, if you will. On one level, we recognize that there's suffering and there's pain, and that especially with something like just the virus that's going on, people are going to be in the worst positions they've ever been in their lives. There's a lot of fear, a lot of just, "Oh God, what the fuck is going on?" People don't know. Uncertainty.

Of course, we never deny that that exists, and if it pulls you toward it and you feel compelled to somehow change the system or take some necessary action, the only thing I recommend is making sure you got your shit together before you start doing that, because any unresolved shadow work in you, in your life related to things that you feel, is just going to get sent out into the world. I'm bringing this up because sometimes when people hear me speak about, "Hey, your imagination is reality. If you want to feel great, you can just feel great," that rubs them the wrong way. It seems like you're selling someone the Brooklyn Bridge.

You're basically promising the moon, and how could anyone ever deliver that? Now what I say to that is the same thing I've been saying for the past year, which is, "Don't fucking take my word for it. That's insane. That's truly an insane thing to do, just to believe someone else because they sound confident. People can derive confidence or seeming confidence from so many different places, so it's not a worthy way of making sure that you are vetting something. But what you can do is test the shit that I talk about. And for people who are tuning in in the past, I don't know, month or two and haven't gone to the imaginal techniques, number one episode or the episodes from there, go back and do that.

I'll get some guided things out on the Patreon in the coming weeks, but basically, you can test this shit. I don't want you to believe that your life can get better and you can make yourself healthier and you can be fulfilled and you can be happy because some fucking weirdo with the podcast who smokes a shitload of weed says you can. This is something you prove to yourself. This is the merging of science and spirituality, by the way. This is empirically testing shit that sounds unbelievable and completely impossible, testing it and proving to yourself that it works. Now, one thing that also I want to address here is when you start pre-selecting realities, you're not really selecting the situations and the outcomes and the experiences.

What you are pre-selecting is the way you want to feel. And what happens from that is there's this thought that the mystery is killed if you start playing with the future or augmenting your past. And it's never killed, trust me, like I wish I could tell you like shit just kind of like stabilizes and plateaus and you get used to things being, no, it just gets more and more incredible. Layers of the onion are consistently unpeeled and it's amazing. So there's no harm in just deciding that you're done with pain and suffering as your primary modality for learning lessons. That's it. Yes, it's been incredibly effective to learn lessons through suffering.

It's a part of life. It's something we all have to do, but it's also optional. That's really something important to think when people think about Buddhism and they say life is suffering, what they forget is the Buddha taught the alleviation of suffering. That was what the Four Noble Truths were about. That's what the Eightfold Path was about. That's what the Middle Way was about. It's alleviating suffering. There is a path towards that. So that's what we're talking about on this podcast. I just, I love that Lacey brought this stuff up because I think something that can not turn people away, but some people, if this hasn't been their direct experience, is that yeah, you can actually change your entire life and mental state and emotional state and psychological state by using something as goofy as an imaginal technique.

That's some guy what the podcast spoke about. He pulled from some guy that he had never heard of a year ago and completely changed his life. Sure. This is actually how it works. I've gotten enough stories from people who have been doing this for about a year now that my mind is blown constantly every single fucking day. So it's important to address both sides of this. I, some people will be like, well, you know, like Lacey even helped me hit me up after. She's like, I felt like I was being a little too negative. You know, I want her to talk about timelines and loops and I'm like, eh, we'll definitely talk about that shit.

That sounds amazing. Be, no, like it was perfect. You want to hear people saying, hey, I don't know, like there is a sect of the, or part of the spiritual community that's only focusing on love and light and that's disingenuous. You need that to be addressed. All of this amazing, wonderful shit does not negate all of the other things that are going on in the world. That's why I keep saying we bear witness to this shit. So we know that we can stabilize our own consciousness, bring in harmony into our own lives, which naturally extends outward. One of the reasons I am so happy and I'm so fulfilled recently is I know if I did this shit, everyone does this shit.

Do I mean in linear time, everyone does this, everyone wakes up and realizes they're God completely and a completely like rational and cool fucking way? That's probably not likely. It's certainly possible, but if you can do it for yourself, stabilize your shit, start creating miracles in your own life, then you can start doing it for people around you. You don't have to say shit. You can just wish them well group imagining this week. Let's do one. Even though there's a guest group imagining is going to be someone in your life who you love and care about. You don't even need to be physically near them.

Wish them something incredible. Not necessarily a specific experience, but them saying something about how happy they are, how fulfilled they are, some breakthrough that they've had. Just do that for another. See if that happens, right? Now that works and it does. If that begins like you can bless entire places, you could be driving past a hospital. Know that there are COVID patients in there and wish everyone and know that everyone's going to have this wave of relief crash over them. Also it's important we talk a lot about death in this episode. Like death is a transition, guys. It's not the end of anything.

It's a difference. Certainly the end of a perception, but so is anything else. You can psychically kill yourself truthfully and go through a lot of stuff that you wouldn't have to go through otherwise if you just get comfortable with the idea of what death is. Now, I'm not trying to be a cocky son of a bitch and pretend that I can remember physically dying, but I definitely can remember psychically dying. And that's something that I think is worth everyone should go through that experience. Anyway, got a little preachy here in this episode. Oh, by the way, watch Tiger King. Holy shit. I know everyone's been talking about it.

I'm a little late, but holy shit. The spirit of these tigers. It basically drives these people insane. I'll do a whole Tiger King thing in the next episode, but holy fucking shit. Oh my God. All right. Next live stream is April 20th for 20 at 420. You will have access to that. If you join the patreon, that's patreon.com/synchronicity. Also in the next coming weeks, we're going to be switching and moving everyone from Patreon to a new platform. If you're already a patron, don't worry about it. It's going to be smooth. You're actually going to get it's going to be cheaper. Cheaper sounds bad, less expensive, better value, let's say better value.

And for people who haven't joined, there's going to be a whole new system. So that's going to be pretty cool. Stay tuned for that. That'll come out if you're on the list, all the things. Anything else I need to yak about? My sister's mess call episode, I will put out soon, I'm recording a ton of stuff. Stay tuned on the Instagram and the on Twitter on the Twitter, Jesus Christ, could I sound older? I watch TikTok guys. I'm cool. I'm cool. I'm hip. I'm with it. But yeah, all this stuff is coming out. I'm not slowing down. We have a lot of fun things going on. My new place is sick. I can't wait for you guys to see it.

It's right by the river. We'll get some river shots. We'll do some live things. Many trends will be answering your questions in the next solo cast, which is in a few days next week. I don't know. We'll figure it out. That's it. How would I shut the fuck up? That sounds good. Also, she says it at the end. But go to lacyfree.com, at any point in this episode, I'm literally going to say I said at the end of this episode, I was going to sign up, then I forgot. I'm literally doing it after this intro, lacyfree.com. That's Lacey L-A-C-E-Y. You should know how to spell it. You clicked on this episode.

You tapped this episode. Go check her out. She's got readings for all this stuff. She's fucking amazing. Looking forward to having her on again and meeting her in person. That's it. Rate and review this podcast. There's some stat that came out that said people aren't rating and reviewing podcasts since the fucking COVID shit. Super easy to do. What else are you going to do? What else are you going to do? Really? Really? How many times can you masturbate? For real. Okay. That's it. Without further ado, here is Lacey Free. Lacey, thank you for coming on. No, I'm so happy to be talking to you in kind of real life.

This is how life is now. This is about as real as it gets, right? This is how people have to communicate just in general. It's fucking insane. We're in like what, week three, four of Corona time? Shit is crazy. Let's just start right there. What the fuck do you think is going on right now? Oh, big question. I think a lot of things are happening right now, but something that's really been hitting me lately is I'm sick of fucking people coming out and being prophets about it because I think we're each going through our individual process with it. But I know it's, or I feel very strongly, it's a death process.

Totally. You know, if that means the structures, you know, when it all started happening and I was like, it's the masculine dying. It's the masculine dying, not meaning gender, but meaning the healthcare system, the dollar, kind of the capitalistic patriarchal society we've lived under, which is the forceful energy in that that was going to have to crumble for us to step into flow. And I still believe that in ways, but I feel like every day it's shifting so much. And if you would have asked me a week ago, I would have told you that Corona was here to like chill the parasites. And when I say parasites, I mean, sort of the darkness that lives within us that we mirror because I feel like Trump and that kind of energy is really a mirror of our collective consciousness and some of the darkness within us.

So in a sense, I feel like each of us, there's parts of us dying right now, old systems, old beliefs. And it's beautiful because I feel in some ways it's beautiful because I feel like it's an opportunity for the neurotransmitters in our brain to rewire. We've been set up mentally to just get up and go to work, run to work, be there for eight hours, come back. And I feel like a lot of offices and corporations didn't even consider the fact that people could work from home. Yeah, and that like it was amazing how much stuff is shifted so fast, like companies never considering it and then being able to set up a whole system in which all their employees can work from home.

Right. Right. Right. The rapidity of how people have had to adapt based on not being prepared or shifting kind of gradually to something has been like truly insane to witness. This is, I don't want to cut you up, but this is really fascinating stuff. I like you have viewed this as kind of the depth of the unconscious divine masculine, right? This tendency towards possessiveness, control, kind of like domination that is embedded in the systems that already exist. I definitely see kind of the more ISIS like feminine energy coming in and helping to kind of reintegrate things, but before that, and I think we're still kind of in the thick of it, we do have this destructive aspect of the divine feminine, the destroyer coming in and literally destroying old patterns that people are running, destroying people with deaths.

And it's, it's kind of an amazing thing to witness. I just based on, based on my personal bent and just how I feel, you know, bear witness to the immense suffering and horrible, you know, decay and entropy that's happening, but ultimately view that as kind of a catalyst to what's going to emerge out of it. So I, that's why I, you know, when we talk, I mean, you asked, oh, I've never been better. It's not that I'm delusional and don't see what's going on, but it does feel like such a necessary component and I kind of see the perfect beauty in it. But when you say you see things kind of shifting, and I totally do too on a daily basis, where is your kind of head or spirit at now in terms of what, what this is?

And I, of course, you know, don't worry about getting pegged as a profit. I mean, I hear a lot of things from a lot of people, but you're on this podcast because I really value your insight and perspective on this. So like what, what are some kind of the oscillations you're going through from day to day with this? Yeah, I feel like it's teaching us all to embrace death and our culture hasn't really set us up with the tools to know how to acknowledge death and go through the death process. And it's a shock to people's systems. And I think there is a level of disparity for different groups of people.

And I think by acknowledging that gives an opportunity for us to come together more in the death process. I think there's, there's an aspect in the spiritual community that I like the love and like communities I've been a part of or like yoga communities I've been a part of, where it's like, let's just sit on this cushion and meditate and give light out and everyone's going to be okay. And I think that's, I think this is like a great equalizer. Even people with money or celebrities are feeling this and we're feeling it at a level that we know that just sitting on a cushion and giving light out isn't going to do it.

We might have to learn to help in new ways and by helping these other communities that might be experiencing it worse from us, it's mirroring it that helped back to ourselves. And I think we're seeing more in each other in a way that we haven't before. Yeah, I think this is a really important point. The death, I mean, it, it couldn't be more clear, like, I've been going deep into kind of the, the, the commercial mainstream news during this, which I haven't engaged with in years and years, probably like a decade, but like I'm, I'm plugging into it and noticing the same things that what it's really making people do and mass is confront mortality.

Their own, their loved ones, the how they're going to die and it's like, it's one of those things that if you've done the work, you know, internally and really gone there and asked yourself these questions, I think you inevitably with enough thought or feeling, get to the point where you view death more as a transition rather than finality. And I think when you can get to that point, you know, you get a lot, a lot more freedom. You cleared up your hard drive. You have a lot more space to kind of put in what you would want to do into this world and into your life, you're saying like, you know, helping communities like if you're in a position where you're free and clear and you have your shit together, you're now in a position to help other people.

But what I see sometimes in these kind of situations is people who don't maybe haven't confronted those fears or any other fears, even not just around mortality. When they try to go out and do something in the external world, they get a reflection back to them that reflects back that they haven't asked themselves those questions. And so that's where I think this, I mean, I don't, we're going to get into this because I want to find out so much more about you. But the communities I've been a part of, I've seen the same exact thing. It's like kind of this delusory, everything is love and light, shadows don't even exist.

The only way we'll deal with the shadow material is by just sending it love and not even thinking about it. And that inevitably leads to immense suffering, not just for the individual, but the people around them because it's not an authentic way of being. So I mean, let's tie this together, how did you get such, I consider you a very clear, present, guiding voice throughout this whole thing? I've been astounded since Jessa brought you on just hearing you speak about this up so lucidly and clearly like how did you get into this shit by being really fucking abused. There is some past life stuff in there that I think growing up in such disarray, in such physical trauma, in sexual trauma, and emotional trauma, it was a constant death process since I was an infant.

And I think in these death processes, no matter it's like we start looking higher, we start looking outside of ourselves for survival. And there's kind of this mean like joke thing going around and it said like, oh, you guys are worried about not having food in your fridge first time and it's like a joke, but people who have gone through trauma or have like really like experienced ego death and not like you've gone through trauma, like a value judgment. There's a lot of ways people can experience the ego death, but you've taught yourself how to survive in trauma, you've taught yourself how to survive in chaos.

I can be like a very high strong, dramatic human, but like over silly things and then like when real chaos comes, I step into such a deep, calm, heavy presence because I know how to function in chaos and I think that's been my curse and a gift. Well, do you say curse because you feel that in the past, it's kind of, you know, you've gone through those things to learn those lessons or because I mean, well, yeah, when you grow up in chaos, you can start attracting it to yourself. You like there's an addiction aspect that can come to it of, Oh, wait, things are peaceful right now. When you grow up in chaos, peace can feel like the most dangerous situation.

Yes. Yes. Now what you're touching on, I think is incredibly important because there's two sides of this coin. I think the people who know not only how to survive in chaos or uncertainty, but thrive in it. Like this is your time to shine. Like that's when I hear you speak about it, you're like, Oh, I know what to do here. This is like, this is exactly what I'm comfortable with. I think like you're saying the flip to that is right. You can attract it into your life almost subconsciously, like you need it to feel functional, whereas if everything is calm and kind of safe, like you're just waiting for that thing to happen, which has made a more of an anxious state than, you know, most people would want to be in.

That's interesting. I mean, what have you noticed in your life as you've grown up gotten more perspective and just experiences in your life? Like do you feel you have the ability to modulate what you bring into your life regarding chaos or kind of peacefulness? Yeah, I think I do. But I think for everyone, I think there's this idea of once you get healed, you're healed. Like come on, do this spiritual retreat into a room with ayahuasca and you will be healed. And I taught, you know, when I do readings, people are like, Lacey, I've worked on this for 12 years, you know, like I'm supposed to be healed now.

And I, you know, people have different views on it, but I strongly believe that there's never an indestination of healed. There's never an, it's a constant reintegration. So noticing your patterns and when they show up, okay, fear is data. There's constantly all of this. And usually I can tell a lot of when I attract chaos, it's because there's a root of fear in me. Yes. And fear is information. So it's like, okay, when I start feeling that, how do I start processing the data around me and then try to sit in my logical mind and evaluate whether this fear data coming in is worth freaking out over.

And that's my best self. I don't, I'm not always able to go there. First I have to get really upset or cry to feel some emotions in my body before I'm able to like calm down and then yeah, just sort of under, we're not taught to like really feel what's happening in our body. And I think our bodies continuously perceiving telepathic communication and data and synchronicities. And it's hard to know sometimes what is our guide? What is our thoughts? What is fear? But the more, I believe the more we get into our bodies, it's easier to evaluate that information. Right. And isn't that like a huge lesson for people who have their head in the clouds?

And I mean that in the most positive way, consider myself one of them. But like who are ethereal, ethereal and spiritually minded? I've been realizing, especially in the past couple of weeks, how amazing it is to have a body. Like just like how, what a wonderful tool that we have to kind of show us what's going on in kind of other non-physical bodies. So it's also this thing you say about fear being data definitely resonates because I mean, like many people right now, we're collectively doing this, but certainly individually. I've been dealing with the biggest fears of my life, which are not death.

I'm pretty cool with that, but just like these deep emotional relationship guilt, like things that are just like very, very acute. And I'm consistently astounded that as I move towards it to get a better look and then through it, it's always shown to me to be completely, there's no substance to it. It's like a little curtain that you part and then behind it is like a more real or authentic version of who you are without that. And it does feel like to me and some for people who are willing to take this as an opportunity that we're being asked to use other things as propellants. Like fear can be a very useful tool for learning some deep aspect or deep lesson about yourself or life, but so can other things, so can community, so can friends.

And I think that's something that's happening like for me, just intuitively one intuitive person to another, like you have such a big job. I think I heard, I think it was with Jessa where you were talking about like you were kind of delaying these like pre-birth processes, did I, am I getting this right? Well, energetically, yeah, I mean, I'm like physically a birth doula and trained in birth. And then energetically, I feel like that sort of switched from birth to me being a mid wife for the galactic, so like as people are like waking up as the gods they are, because humans, gods are trapped in human bodies right now.

And their lola and I were in Sedona after the soberish meetup and we did a lot of acid. And we just got all these hits about what gods were in what human bodies and part of me is like, are we just full of shit, are we just making this up? And then it just became felt more real and more real. And then it, yeah, and then it really resonated with the people who like we went to them and we were like, so we got this message that you're this god or goddess and they were like, yes, for the most part they were like, yes. And yeah, I feel like my space right now, which I think can constantly change and it is to help birds gods and to like hold space for the gods.

And I think being a god does not mean being perfect. Being a god doesn't just mean light. Gods can often be wrathful and dangerous. And I think there's an aspect of that wrathful danger that I'm not afraid of. And I feel like is needed in the world right now. Yeah, I mean, this is this is what I could all be bullshit. No, no, what's funny is like, I mean, I've learned this from from LSD and ketamine in particular that there is something very real and tangible about truth and what's going on. And I think the people who don't ask themselves or say this could all be bullshit or is this bullshit, they're not doing themselves the service of really validating the authenticity of this stuff.

Like, yeah, do you know how many like, I started talking to dead people and fucking picking up on, you know, psychic messages, I was getting downloads like 20 years ago, I didn't know what they were. But like, that is something that as people who are typically not aware or trained to be like in touch with those things, you have to ask yourself if you're going crazy. I think the people who are all too willing to just be like, I'm a psychic. I'm this. I'm this is like, not even questioning anything. That's where you can run into this danger. But at a certain point, like, as you guys experience, acid will definitely help you with this.

It's real. It's more than real. It's actually more real than this physical dimension. It's like much more like substantial than we would like to believe for our minds here. But yeah, I mean, this is just kind of what's going on. And you being kind of this midway for birthing gods, I mean, I see it every day. I literally see people being plucked up and remembering like, you know, ancient beings is the story of Hanuman and the Vedic traditions who like is this monkey god who has all these amazing powers, like can do so many different things. But he was cursed by the sun because one day he was like fucking around and like move the sun and the sun was like, yo, this is fucked up.

Why? You can't do this shit. I'm going to curse you and make you forget all of your powers until you're reminded of them by another deity. And so that's what this feels like. That's what this energy is feeling like. And I think the way it actually ends up expressing itself and you're doing this, we'll get into the herbalism stuff too, but this is now physically manifesting in this dimension. We're seeing collectives form people waking up and bringing these kind of like heavenly divine conceptions of like love, grace, harmony, generosity, like we're seeing them be demonstrated. And the apocalypse that I think so many people feared isn't this physical destructive also leaving room for that possibility that we could have like the end of the world physical apocalypse.

But what it really is is this apocalypse of our minds where they're kind of destroyed this death process where we can then plant the seeds of whatever future we'd like to see here. So like you have the coolest fucking job ever basically like what a fucking badass job. Does it ever get like difficult though? Like it's a pretty big job, you know what I mean? Yeah. Well, I do readings almost every day and the people who are drawn to call me the fucking dope to talk to and I think part of this is not holding myself up as a psychic or a knower or an authority. And I think because that's the energy that's dying right now, I am not just because I'm a midwives hold space, midwives aren't the ultimate knowers.

We hold space for the birth to occur. So and so to do less and so I'm not here bestowing information on my readings necessarily. I'm here to ask questions and to co-create with people with gods with I've gotten a lot of like high priestesses lately also. And and people who may not even think they're anything are a lot of artists call me too and just they say they're getting a reading but we really just like go deep into their art or tear trauma in their energetic body. And I think making it a co-creation of how do we hold space for each other in this moment rather than me just being a psychic healer divine person.

It's how do I honor the divineness in them so that they see it so they can step into being a God. Yeah, I mean this is I was saying this the other day when someone was asking me I gave them a reading a long time ago and I'm much closer with them now. I'm like, you know, I don't really remember too much about my readings because I feel like when they're most effective is when I'm totally dropping any aspect of my personality and just letting the shit reflect off me or just like go through me. And I think this is like this is this energy that's feminine energy too. Like that is receptivity kind of allowance, birthing that's all feminine stuff again not gender related.

We'll keep pointing it out but it's I mean I'm just so grateful that there are people like you who can lucidly speak to this shit but also be cool as fuck because that's like what I think was missing for me in a lot of the communities that I've kind of identified with and it wasn't this is not a value judgment but there was something about like not looking at or dressing the dark shit and the chaotic shit and kind of the weird shit that happens that never quite clicked into me even like the idea of how meditation was approached like yeah just close your eyes and focus on your breath and then notice your mind and it all work out I was like yeah but then what but like then how do we actually like deal with these things that are popping up and I get there's an allowance for it but sometimes we want to speak to another person or to ourselves and get some practical or at least feeling like we feel better.

So I mean this is all just the cool an elaborate way to say you're cool as fuck so like I love it's just like it's a weird it's the weirdest time also like I feel like this shit I don't know what your life was like like two three years ago but I mean it feels like 50 lifetimes ago for me like it's just it's a radically different world like each day is like that but man like what were you doing like three four years ago well when you first you said two years ago two years ago is when I was like starting to work at the strip club right right and that like that was actually really magical and devouring to before I started oh my god I can't think of the guys name what's that like big huge tall like motivational speech Tony Robbins Tony Robbins yeah okay Tony Robbins so you know like yeah I I'd never listened to Tony Robbins and I had just started getting into podcasts like two or three years ago and his podcasts popped up and it was something about like entrepreneur women and it just like something in it like struck a chord in my body and so I just like googled who are the like the top entrepreneur women around me right now and like and he was like relating entrepreneur women to energetics and like manifestation so I was like that's interesting I need to know like I want to know more about these entrepreneur women and how they're manifesting this and in the darkness they receive from the world by opening up these um opening up these opportunities for themselves and so I really research Denver's entrepreneur women and a woman named Debbie Matthew showed up like and I was like Debbie Matthews that's interesting what it how is she an entrepreneur and she's like and it said she's one of the only women in the world who owns a strip club and she also owns a church and a dispensary and she owned the rugby team and was married to the mayor so basically all the cool shit she owns yeah and I kept like I kept reading more about her and I was like because there's this idea oh she's only owns the strip club because she's married to the mayor but really every husband or boyfriend she's had she's made them get into politics so that it would help her strip club and some people are like that shady as fuck and I'm like that's brilliant as fuck because I don't really believe in laws and I love the fact that she she figured out how to make laws work for her quick and in that she was good to the girls working at the strip club so I just like read that information I was like okay interesting and I was a birth doula at the time I had just gotten back from Africa and I was a postpartum doula so I would like oh wow so I would go into people's house at night like a night and a night nurse they call it and I would go into complete strangers houses and they would hand me their baby and then they would just go to bed and some of them had never met me before but it's like new parents are so tired and I would like assist with breastfeeding so I would like take care of the baby so the mom could sleep but then take the baby in the room throughout the night so she could breastfeed and like help with that but back to Debbie Massey's during the time I was like this is exhausting I need to like step out of birth work for a minute and it was like summertime and I had done marketing before and so I applied to a job on Indeed and it said marketing for historical Colorado landmark and then and they didn't say what historical Colorado landmark and they said like we want it they called me and did a phone interview and they still didn't really tell me what it was but I was like hmm I kind of like this mystery and so they had me meet them at an apothecary and I'm an herbalist so I was like oh my gosh I'm gonna be paid to be a witch for the first time this is wonderful and I showed up at the apothecary and Debbie Matthews was sitting there and I was like what the fuck and she's like this this job is for the strip club how do you feel about strip clubs Lacey and I was like oh no how do I feel about strip clubs because I didn't think at that point I had made complete peace about strip clubs because I grew up in such darkness and violence and there was sexual abuse and people doing sex work around me and it was scared me so I thought to be a good person I had to try to not be involved in that environment right but I just looked at her and I was like it's the time of the stripper and she was like you're you're hired and you're gonna have an office on top of the strip club and it started out as just a part-time job like 15 hours a week during the summer and then I just like got close to Debbie and really close to the girls and then she was like now you're a manager of the strip club so it was really intense but that's what I was doing two years ago but that whole process I was like oh I'm controlling everything in my mind I like googled a person and then ended up meeting her two weeks later and that also taught me that I had this very like pedestalized view of what a healer is and what a guru is and I thought like oh I'm I'm too fat to be this yogi or I'm not this like amazing healer because I come from so much pain so I can't step into that and by like being forced in the strip club I saw that strippers were healers right I saw that a lot of strippers were witches I saw that Debbie in some ways has a really bad reputation and in some ways has an amazing reputation that I saw her core and in a lot of ways she was very healing for the strippers that came so we can be a healer in our small job you know you don't have to be an energy reader or a yogi you might be a healer at your office or quarantined in your house not talking to anybody right and I think that's stripping down the value judgment and the hierarchy and healing I think is super important right now right and I mean wow wow there's so much there too and I think being able to to witness and be a part of kind of the transmutation of something that you know when people think of strip clubs they think of usually people being exploited and either one way or the other the people are exploiting the women or exploit whatever it is but being in an environment and I'm sure you've seen gnarly shit I've heard you talk about it but being in an environment where it's empowering for women I mean to me it's a clear precursor for what is we're in the thick of right now which does feel like this complete shifting and rebalancing of feminine and masculine energies and I think that like it was like this little kind of physical reality turbo boost for you to go through that and I think this thing you're talking about healing is really important because I've I've kind of I would never say even that I'm a healer just because I don't think it's an accurate representation of even what people would call themselves healers would do which is just kind of allowing this loving energy to come through and love can be fucking tough as shit it doesn't mean like always you know sunshine and roses but allowing that energy to kind of move through you as a clear vessel or channel and show people that they also have that within them like that's this reintegration kind of process that I think we're all doing and I think you're totally right like if we're in duality if we're incarnate here as beings the way you know someone isn't completely healed or what I would say is like merging back into unity consciousness is there here like you don't come here to be completely finished and healed like when you do that you leave here you know what I mean that's definitely what happened so it's a really important thing that's not like you do this thing like you said go to this retreat go to this ayahuasca thing go to a you know yoga community thing some great place which by of course if you're called to do that do that but it's not like you did the thing and now you're done it's this active process and I mean to me it's the most beautiful thing but I know so many people especially now like right when we're talking are going through so much shit right there literally their fears are being thrown in their faces their relationships that aren't working are being thrown in their faces and like what what do you think is being presented to us collectively of course we experience it individually but collectively right now like what lessons have you been pulling other than this is a better way to phrase it what lessons have you been pulling out of this experience that you think are applicable to pretty much anyone like what universal lessons have been coming to you how can you let the parts in you die that no longer serve you how do you do that like what's your strategy yeah so by being like by being fully in emotion is one way I do it and by writing is one way I do it but like I I'm fucked up too like my pain has been very apparent lately and like for example I'm in a cabin right now and it's it's a bedroom like it is so small and there's this big world outside that I could like go hiking or walking but I've been working a lot and it almost feels like I feel a little paralyzed here and I'm with my twin in this like one bedroom oh wow and yeah and we've come from a lot of pain and turmoil and beauty and great things but being in one bedroom is a lot and I how I do readings and healings is I tap into the energetic body field and I often feel what's going on with someone physically and that's how I kind of get to the root of trauma or kind of like what's happening on a cellular level yeah and I'm not always conscious that I'm doing that to people oh my god I know exactly what you're talking about freak me out when this really started to happen to me holy shit yeah and last night my twin was just like I need to work and you're so tired Lacey like you need to sleep and he's like I need to type I need to move I need to have like music and so he's like I'm gonna put a bunch of pillows and blankets in the bathroom and I'm gonna go work and you're gonna sleep and I was like okay whatever he went in there and drink a bunch of coffee and I was like so tired before that and then he drank coffee and I felt jacked after he went to the bathroom and I feel like I didn't realize at the time but I feel like I was just like so tapped into his energy field and I just I got like before he went into the bathroom I was so ready to like sleep and not think about work and then after he went in there I was just tapping into all of like ideas and creations I wanted to create and it felt like I took four shots of express so yes and I then I had to be like and it took me hours to get to this point of realizing oh wait this isn't my energy and I feel like his this is like really crazy I can't believe I'm saying on a podcast I love it I feel like his higher self was like Lacey I know you're tapped into my energy because there's fear happening in the world right now and you want to make sure I'm okay but you don't have to be tapped into my energy field right now yes you can go to bed yes like I'm gonna work like leave me alone kind of but like in a way nicer way than he would have probably set him a 3D if I would have just kept like bothering him with my hyped up energy and like once I felt that then I like kind of self-soothes myself and like calmed myself down and just fell asleep right right right right right well I can confirm for you I have this ability that that is exactly what was going on and no better way to learn that lesson than being tired and needing to do energetic work while you're sleeping and then feeling like you took fucking four shots of espresso like you'll learn that real quick like not rather not I mean this is a really really really really valuable lesson for someone as powerful as you to right I mean like you want to know when and where to interface and be able to kind of gate what's going on energetically that's just gonna allow you to operate with so much more effortlessness and grace also like to be clear like I've really been embracing and experiencing the power of just like napping and going to sleep just energetically like we're so much more effective wherever we go whether it's an astral or dream time or whatever it is like this reality here and I don't this is not a value judgment it's just base level like this is the end result what we experience here so if you can get up to those higher dimensions and feel how you want to feel or just see what you want to see and trust that that's far more real than this place I mean that's when all these miracles and synchronicities and just kind of like awe inspiring things seep into our life like endlessly that's cool I mean like you I mean how let me ask you this let's get into to the real deal do you do you know how you want to feel like in your most fulfilled state can you like capture what that is totally yeah and I think and that kind of goes back to the abuse thing I remember like being really physically abused and being able to like astrotravel as it was happening so being able to like control my mind in a way that like I remember just being like a six-year-old and being like okay you don't have to like physically feel what's happening to you and it was like another voice saying it to me it's like you your mind can think about anything and go anywhere while this is happening right and I feel like that was the only way of surviving and through that process I felt like oh that's this I could really tune into the feeling I wanted in my body and go there quick wow yeah so this skill I mean this this awareness of of that I mean that's that's I don't want to say it's the secret of life but I found it to be basically the hackable hacks because when you can feel that you're living and assume yourself to be the best version of yourself you basically like implant this code line or script that is inevitably run and it's like it doesn't mean you know how things end up and what these specific outcomes are but you keep generating this like wonder like state of like holy shit my perfect life is unfolding and I know you've felt that recently it's very clear just from someone's voice and energetics when they're tapping into that but I'm also here for for anyone who needs to hear this not just you or maybe not even you just like you we always have the ability to assume ourselves to be the person we would like to be and the easiest way I could say this is if an experience can create a mood a mood can create an experience and you just have to test it and trust your visions and trust your feelings and that's why when I hear you talking about like your primary modality of processing this stuff is through emotion and going into them that's it like that's the whole operative mechanism is feeling something that's how our reality works right this what we're looking out externally here is constantly a reflection of our current state of consciousness or pre selected states of consciousness and when we really understand that like we can really be pretty artful and delicate and cool about what we want to see and I just I say this only to remind myself and other people that we really have this ability whenever we want and one of the easiest ways to do it is just by going to sleep thinking about this shit it's bizarre it's the craziest thing because like the world now is an acid trip and I know this is someone who's taken up enough acid like we're in a fucking trip right now like it's very clear so learning the rules of the trip has been helpful has been really helpful totally yeah I feel like we are in an acid trip right now and I keep debating I'm like should I trip right now are we already just stripping so I don't even know what would happen if I trip right now well it sounds a little I do it it's the most amazing thing ever it's truly you just shadow witch no I always just like amazing for me sometimes it is extremely dark oh you gotta ride the darkness though don't know I know I got to ride the darkness but I'm telling you I'm riding this mother fucking darkness right now I don't know if I need more acid I know I'm a lean in type of guy I like it's just my nature well the acid is like pushing yourself off the cliff you definitely get into the full energy there but I mean yeah I it's funny like one of my other friends who's like a big psycho knot my friend Sean was saying the same thing and he he fucking I mean this guy goes deeper and farther than me most of the time and he was even like I don't know like he's like I don't know if I really want to be tripping right now and I was like yeah you just got to do it like you just got to take the plunge it can get super gnarly but like what ends up happening it's like being thrown in a pool but instead of a pool it's like the deepest part of the ocean you're gonna float you're gonna swim and then when you realize you can do that not only do you float and swim you start walking on water like for real you start having like a good time and then the deeper you go into that shadow stuff like and you know this from being a shadow witch right you pop out the other side and have a whole new perspective on how to deal with that shadow material it's not for the faint of heart of course and I don't think you're a fan of heart at all but I would a I would let the seed be planted that it might be a worthy endeavor amidst the kind of collective and individual shadow shit that's going on because I'm I mean I am just it's it's crazy it's worth it though so part of the reason I'm like in this cabin pretty isolated is because I'm at work right now and the message I've gotten like for my guys hard core is I'm working right now and and I'm like when you're a jeweler in a midwife and you're like on call you're working even if there's not a birth because at any moment someone could go into birth right right especially now especially now which is like the scariest time to go into birth totally totally yeah so there's so there's birth and death happening all around me and with my readings I know very clearly I have to be clear so I've had like zero substance in my body for like two months maybe three months well since I tripped with Lola and Sedona's I don't know two months time is hard where did where did that acid come from do you know did it come from like I don't know if I'm supposed to say this it came from a soberish fan who gave it to Jessa in a card and it was really a sweet card and Jessa gifted it to me a little I just I just wanted to confirm in my imagination that that's exactly how it happened perfect perfect it was so sweet so sweet but yeah and I don't like it I don't feel burdened by this it's just for me I feel like I have like I wouldn't go to a birth tripping right just because birth is a trip right totally totally and I feel like a lot of my energy and I do consider myself a healer but I thought being a healer is just being able to like be connected to both worlds yes to be in the astral plane but still be very earth energy heavy grounded and being able to hold the space of both if I trip I'm going to be like flying around and probably not a good doula to any energy what's your sun sign yes oh gosh I mean are you an Aquarius no I am the virgin the whore your Virgo your Virgo where's what's your moon sign yes you're sorry cancer aries a fire sign yeah I'm very like that's insane when you were saying earlier like holy you're connected to your best self all I could just be like is no bit like sorry I don't know I say bitch a lot no you don't apologize I mean out and I'm like not not dog I am also awful it's to me it's like the best self in the worst self like I allow both to show up that's important it's just like a juggle of which is gonna show up and how do I mitigate it in a way that I'm not fucking up people around me or causing complete destruction around me and I'm not yeah I'm just I'm not my best self right now no you're totally I mean you know that you always are and like you also understand that like putting on errors that were always on or perfect or like operating from like the celestial heavenly space like that's that's what people don't want you know that's what feels to people that's why I mean I know this just from Jessa like she was one of the first voices that I heard that it was like and I'm sure so many other people this is why they resonate with her it's like oh this is a real person like this is actually a real person talking about yeah really crazy spiritual shit but like oh she's not perfect she doesn't have all of her shit together so I mean I just want to remind you that like this is the shit I love I want to hear bitch I want to hear not like this is how I talk on my podcast like understand that like we're good yeah um yeah and I feel like just kind of circling back to the like the death of the masculine I also feel like this is a really and I said this on other podcasts but I think it's a really important time to honor the masculine even in the death of the masculine so and I feel like I kind of want to stop saying it's the death of the masculine because I feel like that kind of sucks men up in a little bit of ways and I want to hold space for men like part of this pain is that men even in like a patriarchal society or if men are pedestalized we don't truly like honor the beauty in men or the sacredness in men and that's something I loved about the strip club is it changed my view on men and especially men who go to strip clubs there's this idea of like bad growth sturdy and that's there I'm not I don't want to pretend that's not there but there's also a divinity and like wanting sexual attention totally wanting to be healed sexually men want to be held and taken to the breast and nurtured and mothered in ways and it's not that I'm saying y'all have to like go mother men right now cuz they also don't want to be mothered um but like but loving and honoring the divinity and men and the masculine is part is part of this death process is how can we love that energy right now right love it to death it's also this reburting process too like again right this puts the focus on understanding what death is which is change which is not the end it's not like masculinity is dying never to be seen again it's dying kind of like the way a caterpillar goes into like it's chrysalis and emerges as a butterfly like the caterpillar is dead the butterfly is still there same being I think this is really important too because I think it's getting a little bit better especially for for men to hear something like the death of the masculine and not react as though it's a gender thing but I think like everything in life you need to experience it and I think for people who have this unconscious masculine energy in them what it can actually feel like when the death process depending on where you are and your awareness of what that means it can be terrifying right just think of like an actual let's use the clearest example we can use right now is there a worse death than someone dying of corona in a hospital being prevented from seeing their family because they don't want to infect them and are aren't allowed to and gasping for their last like this is the worst death that many can imagine you know it's like one of the most and it is sad and this is quite literally what some people are choosing to go through psychologically right emotionally and it's the same exact thing some people are just like I'm off this planet I can't take this shit anymore but some people are having to process this and completely still stay here so as you hold this space for that and really go into the sadness and the despair and bear witness to it what we actually do is end up transmuting it and kind of alchemizing it and trailblazing a path for people to follow and be like hey it's actually not that like if you want to remain on this earthly sphere and really honor both the divine masculine and feminine like you're getting the best opera you're getting the opportunity of like a lifetime like this truly feels like if we're going to play the duality game like many many many many intergalactic beings have kind of coalesced around where we are in time and space and are like watch this shit like watch this planet just up level like watch it truly up level in the most magical way because what it's felt like for me is this merging of the unseen ethereal world and our physical 3D material world and it's like these worlds are phasing in and out of each other and we're still in this birthing death process they're they're intricately linked but you know what comes out of this I can see it clearly and I know this and that's why I keep talking about as much as possible like this is going to be the most amazing thing anyone has ever witnessed like if you can if you can truly operate from a clear space like your dreams are coming true and I mean that specifically for you and anyone listening like that is quite literally what's happening but if you fight it kicking and screaming it's not going to be particularly pleasant it's going to be kind of like what the fuck is this shit twin flamey more than kind of like soul meaty so but I mean it is it is a beautiful thing even in the death and decay like there's something so perfect about it and I think one of the things that's helped me is not to look at this like a game and kind of like a defense avoiding strategy but to recognize that there is this ability to move up past our own individual and collective suffering and see that this is kind of a game and if you understand that and you know the rules you can actually start bending the shit not in a selfish hedonistic reckless way but start kind of like letting that perfect version of yourself emerge and I just like again regardless of where you feel you are in the process like I've as I've listened to you and just kind of taken in what you've said you're helping so many people you know what I mean it's just an incredible amazing thing to witness so I'm just like it's cool it's cool to know you and connect like this you know thank you yeah I think for me in this space I hold it's really important for me to have trust in the mystery and I don't know that this is just beautiful and divine and great I believe there are aspects of it that are but I also believe that there's this energy of and not you and I do agree with a lot of what you're saying but I know that there is this sort of energy from people I'm talking to where they are experiencing fear and they are experiencing a pain that is very real to them and and then they're like then they try to reach out to spiritual communities and are kind of getting the message as if oh they could just like change the simulation and change their thoughts right now and in a way I do agree with that but in a way I also believe in actual sovereignty so that that person has to listen to their guide and go through their process and they may not have had the opportunities that I have had to like explore my spiritual self and there was one salicy that was getting drunk for days on end and not nurturing my body and ending up in really dark positions and if someone were to come into my life then and say hey just just change your view you're just change your view you're not being like spiritual like this is a simulation this is all actually beautiful and you don't have to suffer right now to me the suffering the suffering is the death and we can only allow the death to occur not all of us but some of us haven't got to like go through that tunnel of suffering right so they're in the tunnel right now and I just think as spiritual people it's so important that we don't judge other people's tunnels and that we don't we don't actually even have to have a view on their tunnels like we really don't like there's this like American idea that we all have to have an opinion on everything and we all have to have the answer for anything and I'm wondering even and I'm like that personally but what I'm trying to do is myself is step back and flow with the mystery because I'm I there's people so I don't know I'm not good I have a really hard time in podcast like telling the exact names of people and where they live but there's some healers and like three weeks ago they were like Corona's fake like it's not real it's not a real virus and there's a chance that maybe it wasn't real in our perception kind of created it but I also think there were people who their guides were telling them a virus is coming you need to get somewhere safe you need to prepare with your herbs or you need to do some personal healing and they were kind of met by these other healers of like oh don't be dramatic be positive your like yes yes yeah and I just think everyone is in their own tunnel right now and and sometimes there's gods of destruction there's God who are meant to be here and like suffer and be there with other people while they're suffering and I just think we have to honor our own fear and other people's fear yeah you can't you can't swat it away that's the worst thing you can do to your own or someone else's it's it's just I guarantee it comes back harder to yeah if you to me I see everything like in this energetic body field and if you push fear out like if you try to push it out of your body and ignore it fear becomes a monster that choses you totally and it will chase you around and haunt you and then you'll start getting things that mirror that fear so more darker situations in my opinion will come to you rather than if you can just sit and not fear and be like this fucking sucks right now and these are all the things I'm scared of and I think acknowledging it releases it rather than shoving it out it chases you all right I love that we're talking about this because I think this is incredibly important and I'll also point out that I think my metaphysical God function is to just constantly remind people that we have the ability to optionally choose our relationship to fear which at times it doesn't feel like that it feels like it kind of we're in it and that is absolutely a narrative and a story that we're putting ourselves through that said what I've noticed in my life is someone who is pretty much dominated by fear for most of my life maybe not in like an overt way people would have thought I was chill and relaxed and seemed and I was but my deepest fears ran my life what I found is that if you pre-select not by ruining the mystery but states of consciousness like ecstasy bliss fearlessness even if you pre-select those with pretty regular and applicable techniques you begin to directly experience those states and then you get begin to and like this is not to say because this is something that happens for a lot of people when they start doing the shit I'm trying about talking about is shit will get worse their life will get more fear they'll be more suffering they'll be more cute horrible shit happenings but if you don't take your sensory input as real if you deny that reality and recognize that the visions you have the guides you listen to whatever it is that that's real that begins to show you that we have every single person I think this is applicable to every God being person whatever you want to call them any sentient being we have this ability to shift into the mode that feels best for us and if that's a fear shadow realm work that's amazing like I in duality one of my favorite things is fucking shadow and chaos that's why I moved towards it you know I mean often I think for those who carry the light they seek the dark that's the function you want to illuminate the dark so I think that's very important but I I am constantly trying is not even trying but saying the same thing which is test this shit out if you want to feel fucking amazing most of your life try some of this shit out and see if it works and it doesn't invalidate the fear I think we get so much out of it but to me when I talk about what comes out of this I just think the propellants in this life towards ascension or towards realization or remembrance I feel like fear is getting less and less useful over time it just seems to be and we're in it so quickly now but I've seen that there are other ways and I and I refuse to believe that this is only for me and I continue to see evidence that it's applicable for every single person out there in reality so that's why I and I and I think it's important that you and other people consistently keep me honest and people like me honest who can like clearly talk about this shit to point out that it's not like if you're going through some horrible shit like let's say you're getting abused let's say let's a younger version of you it's just like getting fucking put through the ringer and some jackass like me you know says like yeah just you know imagine your life's good you know that's like a bullshit fucking thing that no one wants to hear but like you said there's an element of truth of it but you can only hear it when you're ready to directly experience it so like all I say to people who feel like they're in the thick of fear is just tap into the feeling before you go to sleep of being fulfilled you can even transpose a former state or consciousness where you felt fulfilled to a future state not the direct outcome or experience not the physical thing you're gonna have but that feeling and watch it be out pictured into your life and to me the most miraculous and mysterious way I've ever seen I mean I just went through truly the biggest miracle of my life earlier today and this is the first time I'm gonna be talking about it publicly but yeah I've never seen anything like this and people have sensed this on this podcast but I'm in the middle of getting a divorce and I have two young children I have a three and a half year old and ten month old and my wife has really she's been put through the fucking ringer you know I left her it was unbearable for me on her jet energetically we were having fights with our kids and this is basically put her in a state of just constant heartbreak and bewilderment and I'm the villain in her life and this morning I confronted one of my biggest fears which was I want my children to be able to hang out with whoever I'm around if I know that it's good for them but she was so resistant to this idea but I went in I stood my ground I kind of felt like an asshole took my son out hung out with a mutual friend brought him back and when I came back she was a different person she was like I understand I completely get it I know that our lives are gonna be good I understand that the relationship is over I'm willing to do whatever it wants to you know whatever takes to make this work for our family and I was like what I've known this is like what this means to me in my life like this is this is like if someone said hey you just won $10 trillion I'd be like that means nothing like that is insignificant to what I just witnessed so this is why I speak about this shit so emphatically because it's not like hey my life's great everything's so easy everything works out perfectly like this has been the most acute like I've been breaking my kids heart like to break a toddler's heart every day is insane like it's the it's the hardest thing I've ever done but as I've kind of known and accepted that the best outcome happens and felt that it continues to be out pictured in my life and that to me is just the most clear and present evidence that anyone can do this for anything that's going on their life and it's a lot easier than they think but that you just have to believe that and that to me is is I think inconsistent with what our senses tell us a lot and even our feelings sometimes but all you have to do is try it it's it's it's truly miraculous and I bring this up in this podcast with you because I know kind of what you're doing here like I see you in three four five years two years six months even like the shit that we're all about to be doing but we're going in our hermit caves right now and working on and cooking up like this is a renaissance and I don't say that it's going to be utopian that there's not going to be suffering anymore we're in duality we're going to experience suffering it's a function of this world but I'm telling you we pop out of this shit I'm telling you it's it's an amazing thing but hold the fucking you know you you go down to these frequencies and fucking help people that's like one of the most on I I'm a pussy I just hang out and fucking you know unity conscious and 60 and 5d love and life all the time but like people are you like I respect it so much but I need you to understand that like your your life is just going to be the most magical dream it is like the most magical dream of like wonder and love that you could possibly imagine so just trust and know that that's coming whether you believe it or not now yeah and I and I think all there's like hundreds and thousands of gods and I think each God we need right now I think the whole like underlining message in this is the is it's a twofold because I think there's an idea of like spiritual sovereignty and listening to your own guides in the death of like the guru the teacher this outside spiritual force that's like sovereignty and self and then I think there is the idea of like the death of individualism so in some ways we're coming together more but also like becoming more internal yes and the gods need each other and the gods gifts need to come out and some gods gifts and darkness and some is light but I but that doesn't mean like even like I love your light but I like but I'm still gonna hold the heaviness of the earth and the earth's sun and moon light and dark and and I don't ever believe that my life wasn't magical right so even in the abuse even in the strip club even the times I would come home crying from the strip club there was magic and healing and a reason I was everywhere I was at so I don't for me personally I don't like need a utopia to feel the deep magic that I feel every day totally totally I mean I think we get a more present reminder of magic when it's not utopian when we see the the yin and the yang right when we see the light in the dark that that's why we're here right we could have been chilling up not on the earthly plane living in love and lighter living in whatever energy we wanted but to see it play out here I think is that is the magic and that awareness of it is what like and of course you have the perspective where you recognize it made you who you are and you couldn't be there yeah and not only like did it just make me who I am like I know there's some people are like we see you made it you have a website up now and you're like you get to talk to cool people like Noah and me and Jessa and I'm like so grateful for that and I'm so grateful I get to do the readings on the phone but none of this is really different than what I was doing at the club none of this is really different than when I was doing in Africa or Alaska or as a nanny or being a drunk 16 year old at a party which you're probably shouldn't have been out I was going around reading everyone's energy talking about astrology touching her bodies reading their energetic field talking about their past lives rubbing men's throat chakra in the middle of a house party so this kind of in a lot of ways feel the same but but still such a blessing I just think I'm getting like older so how it looks and I don't like older like time but no no I get it I get it with yeah like stepping into more of the the wise witch rather than the wild wild wild drunk which is also fun just to be clear I'm a ketamine warlock sometimes it happens you know yeah I like to party yeah who does it it's fun what what is your biggest like what's a desire or wish that you have for yourself personally um to continue to expand using art and energy so like integrating my art and my energy and to continue to connect to the gods like the biggest wish I have is for all the gods to wake up right now hmm you got it I can guarantee it for you I know it sounds crazy but I can alright I'm I could talk to you I think pretty much forever but I'm gonna respect our time I end with three questions and then an open-ended question what's your favorite color red what's your favorite number seven what's your favorite animal whale oh awesome awesome I'm a dolphin guy so I mean I love it I like them too yeah I mean it's not in their cousins the porpoise right porpoise can't be yeah um what is a practical tip that you could share with people listening that's helped you in your life could be anything right now St. John's wort is a super practical herb if you're taking anti-depressants there's contraindications for that but St. John's wort is a bright yellow flower and right now we're stepping into the energy of creation so creating the new world and St. John's wort is used by natural paths as a healer for depression but it's also extremely antiviral and on an energetic level it's very healing for the solar plexus the creation area hmm you can do a st or you can take a tincture or there's pills of it yellow too that's that that creativity okay where can people find you get readings from you I'm signing up for a reading right after this by the way I'm so excited I'm very very excited too but where do people connect with you lacy free dot com I'm so happy we're friends and when this is all over and we can actually physically meet in person that's gonna be fun too so I know I was so excited to come see you in New York yeah maybe maybe don't come to the epicenter of destruction and chaos right now you know I know you're a shadow witch but you can chill in Colorado yeah I'll tell you I went in there I've been there to get drugs but I went in there right before the shit hit the fan before they basically were like locking it down and it was weird but it's good to go those places if you know how to ride the darkness I mean but yeah it's pretty fucking gnarly there right now yeah yeah lacy you're the fucking best we'll do this again soon yeah I'm giving you a big hug right now Noah and I'm sending you a lot of love and thank you for talking with me I'll write back at you thank you thanks for listening to that episode go check lacy out at lacy free dot com she's the fucking coolest sign up for a reading sign up for everything she's doing tune into her or a voice I really listen to she's ahead of the game you can you can sense it in this episode she moved to where she was supposed to move to she's the shit that's it patrons patreon yada yada the Ned stuff hello Ned calm get this shit's awesome the full spectrum stuff thank you to everyone who has sent me goodies I really appreciate it and they're really good yeah that's it I really appreciate if you want to send me goodies hit me up Noah at sink podcast calm instagram wherever you know what to do that's it for this week I'll see you patrons in a few days and I'll see you other people in a week you're gonna be more not patrons other people your other people to me now that's it bye bye I love you happy imagining polymarket is proud to be the world's top choice to trade football you mean soccer right soccer polymarket is proud to be the world's top choice to trade soccer know the game better than the market you can earn cash trading on tournament and game outcomes golds assists saves corners and much much more download the polymarket app and use code free 50 to unlock $50 free for your first trade trading not available in all jurisdictions Check local regulations before trading, restrictions and eligibility apply.