Step Into Your Role with Johanna Warren

Welcome to Synchronicity! It's been a little indeterminate. I'm pretty good though every week we have a guest. I'm going to cough. This is super unprofessional. Brochakra stuff this week. Everyone's having it happen. Sometimes. It's not so bad. It's all good. Okay, welcome to Synchronicity. My guest this week is Joanna Warren. You may know her as an awesome actor and musician. She's cool as fuck. You can find links to all of her stuff from the beginning. Beginning? What? No. On the episode page, on the podcast page, find all this stuff, also probably be a little more organized at the end of the episode and give you actual links and shit.

I'll verbally say them. Like you're going to actually type it in when I'm listening to me with fuck. There's links there. Click them. She's cool. Tune in. All right. Should I do a big L.A. fucking recap since this is the first thing I'm going to release from L.A.? No. I'll do that in another episode. Well, I did see the Kanye West Sunday service. That was fucking awesome and weird and weird and a little we'll do a whole Kanye. We'll do a whole Kanye thing on another one, but go check that out if you're in L.A. It's at the forum. What is going on? It's like you don't want me to talk about this shit.

It's like when I get near the mic, it happens. Okay. Done. Done with this. I think it's all fun and games being a podcaster in your garage smoking weed until you get a mild, non real big deal kind of tickline your throat. This is pretty tough. That's all I'm saying. Joanna, what a lovely conversation we had together. You could tell by my staccato use of voice there. That's how good it was. Yeah, man. We talk about it all. It was just super flowy, easily one of my best conversations I had out there. I had a lot of conversations. They're all great, but this one stood out. Hence why I'm releasing it first.

Just everything. Self-healing, dreams, music, success, judgment, non-judgment, it's just a really good episode. And I'm going off memory there, but I'm going off the vibe, and that's how we connect it. You'll hear in the beginning, "Yeah, it was just a great conversation. She's cool. She's really cool." And she went to Bard. Right? It's right near there. We like Bardians. It's a cool thing to do. Oh, geez. Louise. Guys. Ned. Have you heard of Ned? Hello, Ned. com. You've heard of these people. They make CBD, full-spectrum hemp oil. They have can of butter, body butter stuff that you can use for sexual things, for real.

I mean, let's just drop all the pretense. That's what it's for, right? What else is body butter for? You masturbate with it. Duh. So I'm pretty sure they're cool with these things. Whatever. This is what you sign up for, Ned. Yes. Go get this stuff. Also, I magically bless every product I endorse on this podcast. You can be like, "You know what? No, that's a shitty marketing gimmick that you're doing here, and it's not real. And you're just trying to sell stuff, and you don't give a shit. You're a ruthless capitalist who fucking will do anything to make a buck you fucking piece of shit." Well, friend.

Test it out. Return it if you don't like it. Blame me. Write me an angry email. I'll fucking reimburse you. If it's not magically blessed by me, I'll reimburse you. How about that? No part of that. Don't blame them. But it won't, because I do know how to do that, and soon you will, too. So go to hello, Ned.com. Use the code sink, sy, and see it. Check out get 15% you're off, or if you're ordered, too. Did I mention that? That's another bonus. You save money off the thing you're buying. I mean, it's not really saving money if you buy something, but, imagine, as a concept you're saving money, and you could pay more if you didn't use the code.

So use the code. Hello, Ned.com. I'm getting really good at these fucking ads, aren't I? We're like masturbation, not saving money, really. But it is good shit, and I really do use it. That's the truth, and they're fucking cool, and I like them, so support them. Also, I am just going to open this shit up. Yo, if weed companies want to sponsor me, like straight up weed companies, I'm into that for real. Hook it up. If you know someone, there's any way to do that. I will sell that shit out of your weed. You understand my brand is basically weed. That's my fucking brand. This is all just the vehicle for weed and music, and you guys don't even know yet.

So if there are weed companies there that want me to hock their shit, I'll fucking post up in LA, smoke that weed all day, and talk about it. For real. Let's do this shit. Okay. That's a good start to the episode. Joanna Warren is coming up, guys. I don't have anything else to say. I'm just trying to shift the vibe from me yelling about weed and CBD a little bit. I know you're going to enjoy this episode. My trip to LA was fucking incredible. I love that city so much. I drove around all the time. I don't even mind the traffic. We'll tip, guys. You can smoke weed on the freeway 101, 405, 10, for what are the other ones?

341. I don't know. The ones near Glendale. You smoke weed on all those. No one stopping you. Fucking great. Fucking catch me copper as if you can. They can't. I'm based. All right. I'm really getting pretty reckless here, but I heard you can smoke weed. I heard that's something you can do. I would never do that. Who would do that? That's reckless and inappropriate, and one should not break the rules. Okay. Have I spoken enough to be this to be considered a good intro? I think I have without further ado, guys. Cheers, Joanna Warren. Hi. Hi. Let's have a look. Okay. I'm an actor. I can do this. So here's how I schedule a podcast these days.

It's a vibe thing, right? And someone reached out to me on your behalf, and I sussed it out. And I was like, "Oh, she's cool." But I don't know that much about you, but I do know you're a musician, you're an actor. What the fuck are you doing here in LA right now? How did you find me also? And yeah, you seem like a pretty powerfully creative person, so how did that come about? Well, thank you for the nice things you just said. It is a vibe. I found you the same way. Yeah. I think it was actually through Ramen Nazer. Oh, Ramen. Yeah. Ramen. Ramen. Yeah. I love his art and I call him on Insta, and I think he mentioned other cool podcasts at some point.

Yeah. Yeah. Because he's on my iPod network. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it was through that little star constellation. He's a force. I mean, his art. I love him. His art is just like... It's on point. It's just like he also takes heavy shit and makes it not heavy. Yeah. And it's like, thank you. Yes. Yeah. Like a prismatic splitting of the darkness into all the rainbow colors. Exactly. Exactly. That's his function. Interesting. Okay. So you found me, but I'm a special type of vibe, too. Like there's a lot of podcasts out there, and I know what... So what hook you... I'm curious.

This is just for me. It's for my ego. into synchronicity. Even just the name. Synchronicity is the guiding force in my life. How I know that I'm on the right track. I get freaked out when I don't experience a freakish amount of synchronicity in my life. Oh no, what have I done? I've lost the golden thread. How often does that happen? Do you click at it? Yeah. I would say I have a moment of that kind of feeling. Like did I lose it? Probably once a week or something. Like if a day goes by where something uncanny hasn't happened. Right, you notice it. Yeah. Because it's gotten to the point where it's so frequent that it's to be expected. Right. Right. And that sometimes I found is what delays it a little bit when you do get those days of like what the fuck is this like base reality again? What happened? It's when you don't expect it, right? It always is there. What do you think synchronicity is?

It reminds me of the feeling of deja vu in that it's this mysterious winking feeling from the universe. Like sometimes I start to think, what does it mean? What is this? And I kind of come back to the place of understanding it. I don't need to know what it means. It's just a little cosmic winky face just reminding me. It's a mystery. It is a mystery. You don't have to know. It just feels good. Just let it feel good. I think I figured it out. I'm getting bolder and bolder these days just based on direct experience. So I think I have my direct experience I had for 17 years ago. I had an experience where everything was a sink. It didn't stop. There was no cessation in the synchronicity. Not like each day. There was a few. It just didn't stop.

Which gave me some perspective on like, what the fuck? I didn't know what it was back then. But recently I really firmly believe that our life is a symphony of synchronicities. You're the conductor and you're conducting a song to make yourself remember who you are. That's what I realized. Synchronicities are signs, right? Signs always follow. So it's interesting you mentioned Deja Vu because I finally figured out at least in my life what it is. It's when you pre-imagine something and then you remember for a split second in this reality and it seems so familiar. It's because you just remember that you thought of this or imagined it before for a second. You're like, what the hell is that? It's very much related to synchronicities.

I've found you can slip into a state. Our conscious mind is kind of this filter, right? And it filters out. I think this omnipresent state. Like Carl Jung said, right? For those with eyes to see everything is a synchronicity, right? I'm paraphrasing there. That's a fact. It's just a fact, right? Well, yeah, because we want to break things down and structure a linear sequence of events, but that doesn't seem to be the way it is. And yeah, all of these experiences of the nonlinear nature of everything point to the fact that everything has already happened and is happening all at once forever on top of itself.

That's exactly right. I remember the very first time that I smoked actual weed and not like oregano that I bought in a little baggie in Atlanta. The very first time that I got actually properly stoned, I walked out onto the roof of my parents' house and looked out at the stars and had this experience of seeing my whole life fanned out across the starry sky. And it looked like a film reel, projection slides. And then it started branching off into all these alternate timelines. And there were a couple places in the reel where slides seem to be out of sequence. And I was like, "Oh shit, that's deja vu." You're really tying some stuff. I love the key pairing stuff. You're really tying some stuff together for me here.

What we're doing as best as I can tell is time doesn't exist, right? It's this nexus point that is just there and we filter it down into the spectrum. And it's pretty fucking amazing how we do it and we stretch it out like silly putty to be able to experience it. As I started doing this imaginal stuff, before I actually started doing it, I would get a very odd sensation when I was doing it correctly after the fact retrospectively I put this together, that it felt like slides falling into place. I don't know how to describe it because it's not like looking at slides and looking them into place, but it felt like a shuffling of things in place.

And as best I can tell, what we're constantly doing is deciding what slide -- we live in this permanent slide, but we move it across different film sets, right? And that's the timelines. Space, you can effortlessly glide across whatever timeline you want. Now, emotions can come in if they overwhelm you and knock you off base, and your senses specifically will fuck your shit up. If you react to the external world, you get trapped by it. But it's interesting you mentioned that slide because it's just, I don't know how to even describe it. It's like if you can imagine in your head something just sliding into place, like a bunch. And now that you mentioned that, it's like, that's definitely when I'm doing it.

When I know I'm doing it right, that's specifically what it feels like. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I've started the last couple years. I've had this really visceral feeling that arises in moments that I'm conscious of as a juncture of choice where different timelines emerge from this present point of awareness. Yes. Where I can see different futures unfolding. Well, if I go this way, or I could go that way, or I could go that way. And that feels very powerful as a sorcerer to recognize. Okay, I'm standing at this crossroads and I can slow down time or pause it and really contemplate and start to like see a little farther down each of those roads and say, okay, that looks like immediate gratification.

But what's the next step? Start to play chess with yourself. You learn, right? You learn the moves that ended with your nights and rooks getting taken away. And then you're like, hmm, maybe I'll test this out some other way, send a pawn out there and see what happens. And then, okay. Yeah, that's a really good allegory for what we're doing. I'm curious because I know you read cards about your opinions and ideas about predestination versus free will or how those two things enter. I reconcile them like this. I believe in free will and I believe in destiny. The only thing I know is destined. This is the only thing I know for a fact is destined is that we all wake up and remember exactly who we are, which I've been yakking about for a while now is God, universe, Buddha, Krishna.

It's everything. You're everything. And not as a conceptual or intellectual reality, but as a felt. Okay, I accept this. You're also still you. That's what I know is destined as best I can tell everything else is up to the individual. It's up to the individual, say, everything from every multidimensional reality to how long it would take for one to realize that to what bodies they would take to realize that. That's 100% up to that individuated consciousness because it is the creator manifesting sustain our energy. A less kind of metaphysical conception in terms of practicality and duality. You know, we can do whatever the fuck we want is the truth, even morality and things that objectively seem wrong.

I have looked back not only at my own actions, but other people hasn't been like, wow, that actually led to the perfect situation. So it's hard to insert ourselves as fundamentally beings who love to identify with certain concepts or states of being or positions, you know, politically, socially, consciously, ethically. That can kind of rub up against the true nature of reality, which is we have endless ways to go. And like what I also know about judgment and mercy is even the people who fuck this shit up constantly. They're forgiven. You know what I mean? So it's like it does open up this road of like, and I think this is what a lot of people are dealing with right now in Scorpio season Mercury and retrograde towards the end of 2020 and the age of Aquarius, which just sounds so fucking new age.

But they're dealing with these big moral ethical questions. I know from doing readings, a lot of people are dealing with very heavy ethical questions dealing with relationships. And it's like, you know, as someone who is not outside of that who's directly in it, like, it seems like people who are ready for the zero balance of like, you know, if I do something where I can just clean it up real quickly, they're facing what Jessarid would say is like your final boss. And a lot of these final bosses are these relational. Is this right? Is this okay type of things? And what I do know is if you set your destination with your imagination, your belief and your feeling, you will get there. You can change it. So that's the freedom there. But it'll carry you to your destination and you may not know what the means are to get you there.

Right? Yeah. Yeah. I just opened up a book on manifestation magic to a random page. And it was a metaphor that I really liked. I wish I knew who wrote this book. If anyone knows this message, I'd like to find it again. I was just on a friend's shelf and I was like, oh, manifestation. But this guy was using the metaphor of a GPS system and you just plug the coordinates into the GPS. You don't need to know how you're going to get there because the algorithm will figure that out for you. That is exactly right. He went on to say, but you do have to step on the gas. Yeah. I thought that was pretty perfect. It gets weird with the gas. So the thing is is that if you step on it too hard, you'll just run into a wall.

It will. Well, it depends where you're, which direction you're pointed in, right? If you hit it too hard, but you're on a flat surface in your drag racing, that's going to be fun as shit. It's just getting yourself positioned correctly for the gas. What I've noticed, though, is that I really settling into this concept of effortlessness. Yes. I noticed and I'm sure you do in the creative process. And as an actor, like, did the degree that you can make it effortless and just embody what you're doing and receive it and not judge it and not try to mold it too much conceptually? Shit is really fucking easy.

Yes. And so my personal belief is that everything is actually like that. We have to prove it to ourselves because if someone's like, hey, you have like a searing pain in your leg, you know, you can't just imagine that away. Well, I've done it. I've seen people around me do even crazier shit than that. And if that is true, then it means any state of consciousness is actually easily achievable, which then puts the onus on us in terms of identifying how we would like to feel. And that seems to make it all this other shit smoother, not necessarily more comfortable all the time, but smoother in terms of letting things happen. So the gas to me, whereas maybe I would have slammed on the gas like three or four months ago when I found a desire, I'm like, that's it.

I'm like, you know what? Where am I? Like you were saying, you know, relationally, how much gas do I really need to push this? You know what I mean? And it's a very artful balance for me that a between tension and relaxation, which is very musical. It reminds me of an instrument where you have to tune the string and you need a certain amount of tension to produce any sound. And that's been something that the universe has been schooling me in recently. Because I've been kind of making it a mission to just completely surrender and completely relax. But then I've had a number of experiences recently where I'll have a show coming up and then the night before the show, I just am not allowed to sleep.

You know, there's a rager happening right across the street and there's nothing I can do to get the rest that I think I need. And that, like, that was the first moment when I got this download where I was, I was stressing out, lying in bed, freaking out thinking I'm not going to be rested for this show. I'm not going to be in the state that I want to be. You started playing it out. Yeah. And, and my guides were like, dude, you're a string, you're a resonant chord. And we need to tune you to the right tension. We can't have you just like too loosey goosey. And not prepared. Yeah. And it was a great show. I think the adrenaline and the, of course, there's no bearing on sleep, actually.

I'm before learning this. Sleep isn't this physiological process. What happens during sleep, we can actually have happen while we're away. Yes. And yeah, and when you realize quite literally everything is meditation, you're doing it. I mean, listen, I'm telling you, I wish I had a little more rest these past few days. I feel that, but it's not, I can still function. And also I've noticed conversations like this, readings, playing music, listening to music will immediately put me in a state of like high vibrations and I don't feel tired at all. Yeah. It's all very transmutable. And it's like level shifting channel surfing. And I've noticed myself doing that just throughout the beginning of this conversation where I, just with my thoughts, I can start to feel tired.

Or foggy or out of it, but then I can change the channel. And suddenly everything is clear. So that is what I have been doing specifically and consciously over the past six months. And you get, you pressure test it, right? You know, like you do a physical thing here. You do a relationship thing here. You do traffic here, all these different things that kind of test it. And then I've just found like, when you don't react to your physical senses, you just transcend them. Like every single time. I, it's weird. Yes, I was, yes, not reacting, but also paying attention and acknowledging. Oh, of course. Don't fight it.

Being present and embodied, but not tripping out about it. Because I, I deal with a lot of chronic pain. And I think I've been looking at ways in which I have lived outside of my body in an unhealthy way because being present with my somatic sensations can just be really uncomfortable. So I'm working on ways to not leave this body, but transmute the sensations and find a way to be in my pleasure while deeply experiencing what is real. And, and, you know, working with it all chemically to make the experience of being fully present with reality the most pleasurable sensation, even if the reality is uncomfortable.

All right. So here, I have a suggestion for you. And this is based off my own personal experience. And then my babysitter, she came in with chronic pain in her shoulder and gastrointestinal issues. And like seriously, I'm, I'm not saying your name. So if you're listening to this, don't get upset. I'm so very amazing thing. She came in. She started like two and a half months ago. And I gave her some of these Neville Goddard books. My wife Alexis gave her a Sarno book, Dr. Sarno, the clinician. She fused them. She's pain free. And this is something that has lasted with her for seven years. I don't say that for any other reason that when I start seeing it work for other people, it kind of amped it up for me.

I've done this shit for myself. Here's what you do. You don't imagine anything other than the state of recognition that you are pain free now. So it could be you saying to yourself, we're hearing someone saying to you, like, wow, remember, like when you use a pain and a feeling of disbelief, like, wow, that's crazy. That's how I used to feel. I will say that when I say this to people, depending on how severe their pain is, how long it's lasted, their associations with it, there's a variety of reactions. It can be very triggering. It can be triggering. It can be something that if the person can't hear it, their conscious mind will just react very poorly.

However, with all of this stuff, I say, test it empirically first. That's the real method because if you only know about all this imagination, shit, it's just a trick. It's what you feel and you believe that actually unfolds reality. Physical pain, chronic pain, psychological pain, emotional pain, chronic states of that, depression, anxiety, same thing. They feel so real because they are real because we make them real. But if we can kind of slip behind the veil for long enough and trick ourselves one or two times and get it in there, it's fucking nuts. It's fucking nuts. And I would, if I were you, not think of anything else or imagine anything else in just the end state of being pain free, all of the other stuff you mentioned, I intuitively feel that that will happen. That's what's been so weird about this for me is like, you get to the end state, but in ways you could have never put together.

Right. And by trying to plan and strategize, we can end up really choking the organic beauty of reality out of life. Exactly. Because there are so many times when, yeah, I've been getting a lot more skillful, I think, with my manifestation techniques and just keeping things specific, but super open. Yes. I know how I want to feel. Yes. I don't need to know specifically what that looks like. That's exactly right. I was talking about this last night with my friend who's a musician, and we were saying that I was like, you know, because I was like, what do you want? She's like, I want to be in a relationship. And then we kept going and she was like, oh, I want to be married. And I was like, oh, I can see the ring. Oh, I don't want to be like the more she went into it. She started to hone in on what she actually wanted. And then I was like, listen, this isn't psychic, you know, metaphysical tender.

You don't want to go and say, I want to guys, because people will write into me for the imaginal acts. They'll be like, I want a 510 guy or a five, six girl, and I want them to look like this and have this and like, you're overthinking this crazily, like, maybe just be like, I'm with the perfect person and I'm internally happy. And then who gives a shit? And like, it'll trust me, it'll conform to exactly what you want. But like, that is like this principle in action. If you're trying to like, you know, control freak every single aspect of it. You're fighting against yourself. Just let it happen just limiting yourself, because things can be so much cooler than you even imagine so much.

I'm almost in a constant state of awe, like, just because it's like, what the fuck? I didn't even know. I remember, I remember when I first like came into this shit, I was like, I kept saying two things. I was like, I didn't know it could be like this. I didn't know it could be like this. And then I would say, I fucking knew it. Like, I fucking knew it. Like, I knew this is actually how it worked. Same, yeah. I knew it didn't have to be that way. I came into the world with this awareness that things could be so many other ways. Why did we collectively opt into this bullshit? Not great. Yeah. And here we are, you know, and I'm so psyched to be alive at a time when more and more of us dreamers are finding our way to this lucid place.

Yes. And that's what this is. And I think some people get a little freaked out when I kind of hammer them over the head with it. I'm getting a little more skillful. Same. It is a dream. And it's a dream in the sense that doesn't deny senses of responsibility and relationships. Not at all. It really forces us to take that upon ourselves. Yes. In the way that you're describing with chronic illness, like that's for me been a real journey of, yeah, being frequently triggered by people who started coming into my life a couple years ago and suggesting to me that, hey, maybe you might not have to be sick for the rest of your life. Like every Allopathic doctor has ever told you. Yeah. Maybe that's your story. Yes. And I was so indignant and just how dare you have no idea what my life is like, you know, but one by one, my allegedly incurable diseases have shifted out of my reality.

I'm still left with type one diabetes, which is by all accounts, like even according to the most radical modalities. There are things almost impossible. However, I am aware of the limitless possibility for healing. I'm also okay with the possibility that maybe it's my karma to learn how to heal myself with an incurable disease and make peace with that and learn to love the reality of that and not judge myself and look of the shame around it because I think being a very mindful spiritual person whose life is largely about encouraging others to take control of the creation of their reality. There's, I've carried a lot of shame about the fact that I have this disease that I haven't been able to get it away, which, you know, binds you to it, right? It does bind you to it because the shame, because it's a judgment on this is like people who are very successful, very creative and very good at having things unfold in this world do this dance where it feels like perfectionism. It's actually not. It's you propelling yourself up like a ladder or spiral of ascension.

But yeah, when you let go of it, you might be amazed. And listen, type one diabetes is one of these things that like, you might be right. It sounds like also you are on some level really assuming the archetype of the wounded healer, which if you know anything about Chiron, right, like this is the, this is the most powerful. It's an archetype for a reason. And that's where I'm kind of going with this. It's like, I think even if it does end up shifting for me, I'm so grateful for the time that I've had with it as an expander of my capacity for compassion. To learn what that's like and how hard it is. And just all the angles of living with something like that that I think have made me a better healer because we learn, I think we're given things in this life to learn how to heal ourselves so that we can learn how to be of service to other people who are also suffering.

That's the whole thing. So I've been speaking about this with various friends who are in healing modalities. And that is the whole game. And basically, you know, you can, what is that? Yeah, I definitely do. It's all good. So, yeah, what were we just talking about? I got distracted by the matcha. Wounded healer modalities healing. Yes. Okay. Here's what I've been saying to people who are tapping into this wounded healer energy is you can jump in the ocean of suffering to understand what needs to be done to transcend it and to help other people who are in similar positions. But if you jump in and you forget that you consciously made the decision to jump in, make sure you don't drown. Make sure you don't drown and make sure you don't get stuck there for a long ass time and realize you can't drown and can't help anybody else.

And that's, yeah, it's such a delicate balance between inviting in suffering to learn from it and then like, wallowing in it and fluffing its pillows for it and getting caught into stay forever and just becoming a wound. Exactly. And so what I've been encouraging people who I sense are doing this is to jump in and then immediately grab the dock and get the fuck out. Because you can shorten the distance of these things because time doesn't exist. It's not like, yeah, and if we want to play it out and painstakingly go through the efforts to clearly be able to elucidate to all types of people. And that's the truth. Like, if you only heal yourself in one way, it's going to be accessible to a lot of people. But if you do it and get multi-perspective view over it, you're going to be able to help a lot more.

So you might want to spend some more time in those situations. Yeah, man. It's so, I feel like it's so strongly related to this suffering artist archetype to which I feel is also a big part of my karma, like having gotten to hang out there for a while. And now it's time to transcend and transmute and provide a positive example of what a healthy, happy, thriving artist who's creating from a place of joy and abundance and celebration of life, you know, because I never had a model like that growing up. There's not many of them. What's I personally think the reason I didn't tap into my creative potential before I did, like, truthfully like six months ago, I just got little glimpses to keep me going is because that was the major dominant model for musician, creative, and I just didn't buy into it.

I mean, I can't buy into, like, me being miserable is the only way I get art. Like, I get feeling the depths of suffering will give me some poetic language to communicate that to people who are feeling it. But other than that, like, I think I'm happy person and I think I can still make amazing art and I know I can stuff. Yes. Yes. Yes. I think it's, it should be viewed as an initiatory experience, which is very important. You have to go there. You have to go into the underworld. But you have to resurface. Just don't get stuck there. Exactly. Orpheus, right? Yeah. Orpheus is the tale of Orpheus. His wife gets trapped there. He goes to get her.

Don't look back. Don't look back. Motherfucker. Don't look back. You look back. She's gone. She stays there. And, you know, a lot of these things aren't as just the personifications. That's the masculine and feminine energy. And that story is also an allegory for how we use our conscious masculine minds to impregnate our subconscious feminine minds. And if we keep looking back to see if we really did it right, guess what happened? She's fucking trapped in the underworld. You know what I mean? I know. Yeah. It's, it's a tale of faith and trust. Yes. I've, I've had so many Orpheus moments. Oh, my God. Yeah. Well, God damn it.

I knew I wasn't supposed to look back. Now she's trapped in the underworld forever again. Again, the best news is, is that we do have the ability to always go back and get her. It's not in the myth, but it is a fact. Yeah. I wanted to kind of circle back to what you were talking about, about shame and destiny. And because that's been, I've been thinking a lot about these things as an actor actually thinking a lot about character. Yeah. And the characters who play themselves out through us in our lives based on stuff that's happened and choices that we've made. And these patterns become ingrained to a degree that we start to think it's who we are. Yes. Or that it's some kind of curse. It's like, do I just have a sign on my back that says, abandoned me, like ask me about abandoning me because that happens every time. And if I carry that character profile with me, what script is going to be played out?

We already, and we enter every new scene like we know the end and we manifest it because we know it so well. We're really good at it. And that's how everything works. We know something, we feel it and we believe it. Yes. So that's, and I totally hear you about the chronic illness stuff. It's like, that's my script. And I am playing every scene like I know the end. And I have to remember that everything is changing all the time. Even if it comes from outside of myself, they might discover a cure for my disease tomorrow, which would be you. Yes. Right. Exactly. And I was getting that thought before I've been thinking about this a lot for bald men. Because bald men, most in our society, never get a real chance to talk about what happened to them.

And I started losing my hair two years ago when my or three years ago when my son was born and I freaked the fuck out. I was like, Oh my God, I've always imagined myself with hair. How is this happening? Why is this happening? Oh my God. And for like six months, I was just like stuck in this vortex. I started getting targeted by all the Instagram ads and like blah, blah, blah, blah. And a weird thing happened when I started discovering this imagination stuff is at first I thought I was just tripping out and I'm like, I think my hair is growing back. Then I started getting my hair cut and my I only I've only ever thank you so much. I've only ever gone to stylists. I don't like men touching my head.

But she Nancy, one of my favorite people was like, Hey, is your hair growing back? And I'm like, what? Okay, she said it. And so I've been now three times for since then. It's like just accepted that it's growing back. And that's something that defies what we know about. But it is my dance. I will do the same dance you have with chronic illness where I'll be like, I know it's, I see the proof, right? I see it. I know what's happening. But I will be like, this isn't possible. That's fascinating. Yeah, you've got a healthy head of hair. If you saw it two years ago, it was insane. And you feel like that's just all with the power of the mind. I don't think this reality exists the way we perceive it does. And the more I prove it to myself, the more I just accept that it's whatever I want it to be.

And when you get, so I think one of the reasons that we make art, or at least why I've been noticing, I may kind of inspired art at this point, is they're just such good reminders. They're just such good reminders that you tapped into a state where you allowed something ethereal and non corporeal to allow itself into this world. Yeah, that's how you know it's good. Like when you go back to a song that I allegedly wrote. Yes, totally, totally. But I'm like, I don't know how to do that. So I saw two movies on the plane on the way over here. The first was Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, which I really loved. I just thought it was a great kind of movie version of revision where he went back in time and like she doesn't get murdered.

Yeah, she doesn't happen. I'm like, good job. I thought it was really cool. And I was also just like laugh out. I was dying during like the end scenes with incredible. I was like, this is hilarious. And then the other movie I saw was Yesterday, the one where the guy, there's like some glitch all the lights go off and then he's like one of the only people who remembers the Beatles. So he starts rewriting all the songs and he becomes famous, but he starts to feel bad because they weren't his songs and he starts to feel shame for it. But then there's two other people. I'm giving it away. Fuck off. If you want to see it. But there's two people who at the end, they come to him and he thinks they're going to like bust him.

They're like, you fucking fraud. And they come up and they're like, thank you so much. Like, we know the songs, but we could never hear them. We didn't have the skill to get them out. Thank you for finding them again. And I think that's basically an allegory for what we do whenever we hear any music. It's there somewhere. It exists. It's just if we can tune into it and express it through ourselves, it becomes this thing that is a beacon for other people who get it. Man, yeah, it raises so many interesting questions about ownership and ego. And I've tried to do my best with that dance because I hear a lot of people doing the kind of false humility dance of just like, oh, well, I'm just a vessel.

And it's like, yeah, you're just saying that to somehow. No one's just a vessel, truthfully. I mean, you are and we aren't. It's like, it takes a lot of work to be a good vessel. Yeah, you have to make yourself a worthy vessel. There's gold chalices and there's little winky dink cups that suck balls. So, like, yeah, and I, like, when I'm real with myself, it's like, I totally do want to be acknowledged for the hard work that it's been to be the vessel that I am. You know, it's both. It's like, I can totally recognize that this shit is floating around in the ethers. It exists and I'm drawing it down, but I'm showing up.

I've gone through, you know, my favorite compliment that I've ever received after a show was this guy who came up to me and just, like, took my hands and was like, thank you for living the kind of life that I'm sure it has required for you to be available to that material. Holy shit. Also, best pick up line ever for anyone. If you ever want to do it, it's like, oh, my God, you nailed that one. You really get it. It's been really hard. That's amazing. I hope if you're listening out there, mystery, man, I hope that I paraphrased correctly with something like that. That's incredible, though. I mean, because it's, it's, he's bearing witness to what you had to do to get to where you are.

And a lot of people don't, especially people who don't actively pursue their creative talents. It's very easy to be a critic. It's very easy to say that sucks. That's not good. I think it was just, it was the compliment that I never even knew that I really wanted to receive because it was the validation for the work that I actually do, which is living a really weird, hard, vulnerable life and often, you know, dealing with financial insecurity and just doing, like walking towards the things that terrify me specifically to remain open to the creative energies. I like you say walk. I've been telling people to run. I have been, I just say run towards your fucking fears, move towards them as fast as you can because they just evaporate.

It's just the truth. Like they evaporate. And even if there's any, like, substance that's played out in this world, that eventually evaporates too. It always works out. Like even if that's not a felt reality for someone listening. If you feel it, it does. Yeah. And the other shit is the stuff that we can't take credit for, but we can take credit for the work that it takes to be available to the other shit. This is, this is where we start to get in from this like 5D to 6D conversation. So 5D is this space where I recognize I've been living comfortably for a while, which is this space of unconditional acceptance, forgiveness, and love.

And what I mean by that is not just for myself. I provide that space for people, which is why it's easy for us to have a conversation. Also, you're a big part of that too. But allowing people who maybe aren't feeling like that to then feel like that for a little bit. And they're like, oh, and it is the tuning, right? It is the tuning of your heart to allow people to resonate. It's like a tuning fork. And then they're like, oh, I feel like now. 60 is where shit gets very interesting because 60 is that plus this added dimension of collaboration and intimacy. Which I think is what is the forefront of what a lot of people are experiencing with like relationship stuff because the boundaries, like in the same way that gender moved to a spectrum.

Yeah. Relationships are now moving to a spectrum and it's like this weird schism for a lot of people who are like, no, that's not how it's supposed to be. And people are like, what the fuck is the matter with me? Like, why is this happening? So this is something that I think is just emerging in this place in time. And we have to basically learn how to mitigate something that's changing that we maybe can't be in yet in linear time. And yeah, it's a it's complicated. It is the best way to say it. I do have faith though with all of this stuff that it serves the function of revealing who we actually are.

Absolutely. And as we tune into that, we drop fear, doubt, anxiety, worry, negative patterns, patterns that have been put on us by other people, our parents, ancestral shit, like you don't even know about. And then you catch it and you're like, oh, yeah, like I'm done with that shit. That's so really, yeah, with the relationship stuff, it's like, even if you think that you're in a monogamous contract with someone, there's still no security in that. Like, no matter what you're doing, there's the opportunity to be suffering and tripping all the time. All the time. So you just have to ask yourself, do I want to be suffering and tripping all the time, or do I want to find peace?

This is why I've been saying to people to get to the heart of what I think we're talking about here. It's having the wherewithal and practice to a know what you actually want, know why you want it, accept that you want it, and then have the ability to actually have the faith that it's going to happen. Yes. I see a lot of people who are good at manifestation and slipping behind the veil and just getting what's going on who do things but yet are still subservient to aspects of their being that they haven't kind of worked with the shadow stuff or anything else. It's Orpheus again, you know, I've experienced that a number of times in recent memory where I get something that I feel like I've wanted for a long time and then through some really subtle but really important little slip.

I just watch it disappear. Do you want it to disappear or you don't? Does it slip through your fingers or just letting it go? It's like, well, okay, let me just talk about one specific so that I can be specific. It was something that I thought was outside of the realm of possibility for a long time, like a person who I thought, like, wow, they're so far out of my orbital field, I couldn't possibly connect with them. And then we connected and I think I got so excited and probably pressurized it a bit too much and I didn't do anything wrong objectively by any means. But I think there was a moment or maybe a series of moments when I went against my higher judgment, which was just to let things be, don't chase it.

You just let it unfold on its own timeline. You don't need to just don't look back, you know, and I looked back. I just wanted to make sure it was like there was some part of me that couldn't quite believe or integrate that this was actually happening, so I just needed a little assurance, you know, and I think that gesture. It's a right pillar and lot, lot's wave, right? Turned back. It's a pillar of salt at that pimp. Who's Lot's White? I don't know her name, but basically it's the same thing. The good news is, is those things are never final. For sure. But I do know there's something that happens.

This is a subtle nuance that I don't think everyone perceives when something big is about to change in your life, when neither you're about to meet someone or you're going to have a change in your life. And to have a change in scenery or situation, we feel that before it happens. Some people get freaked out by it. Some people notice it as a necessary pre-shock as like there'd be an aftershock from an earthquake, a pre-shock of something that's about to happen, and it becomes more like going up the initial part of a roller coaster, which you know is safe and you know it's going to be fun. Rather than like I'm getting drawn to the top of this cliff and they're going to just push me off and I'm going to die.

Yeah, man. Story telling. Yes. It's so like even just the way the little scenario that I just described, I think old me would have used that as more evidence for my story that... Can't do it. Nothing ever works out. Yes. They always run away. There's something hideous and horribly unlovable about me that repels everyone that I want. But instead I'm very consciously getting out of that groove and using this as evidence for the fact that I can get whatever I want and I'm learning and I will be given more opportunities to practice what I learned this round and integrate it into the next round. Because that seems to be the way it is.

You know, nothing is our one and only shot. No, I... Given, I really, I believe the universe has been ethylene and wants us to succeed and grow. And I believe we are the universe. Yes. I don't believe in any external, I believe the universe exists but because we exist. That's quite literally. Yeah, exactly. I think there's a video where they're singing that and Bob Dylan is like behind someone and he's just like, "What the fuck is going on here?" It's like, I don't even think he was angry people like make it like he was grumpy. He was probably just like, "This is..." He's just being Bob Dylan. Yeah.

Like, what is this? What is my life? Yeah, exactly. They're not paying me in us. Yeah. Why am I here for this? You're gonna cut a corner manager. Yeah. Well, I'm interested because you are a musician too and I have really... I've known this for a long time but the allegory and metaphor of music for what this world is is about as solid and holistic as I have found. Because there's so many different facets of music. You know, there's tempo, there's rhythm, there's melody, there's harmony. There's notes. There's space. There's chords. There's all this stuff. There's filth. Even if you go into the digital realm and processing realm, there's filters.

Yes. It's perfect. It's perfect. What has your experience with music been like as a creative process for you? I'm always interested in this because I recently discovered mine. I've been doing it but I finally consciously got some awareness of what the fuck I do. Yeah. How did that come about for you? I mean, I've always been a musical being in some capacity. It just came out singing before I was speaking and moving through the world just filling space with sound. Yeah, good Whistler. I heard too. Oh, yeah. I don't even think. It was like a bird song. It was quite nice. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's infinitely compelling to me as a path because it's such a ridiculously explicit metaphor for everything we're talking about.

It's not even a metaphor. It just is. It's the thing. I feel like everything else is a metaphor for music. Yes. It's a great thing. So to have my life and livelihood be centered around moving through space, sitting down in the middle of a room full of other resonating human bodies and tuning my strings and then presenting a refined offering of my consciousness in the form of song. Yes. And providing an opportunity and a space for people to just breathe. That feels so good. And it's a gift for me. I think I used to go to so many shows as a kid just because I needed that. You needed it. I had no idea how to be a normal social person in high school.

It was just fucked, no clue how to be with other people, but going out to shows and having this collective shared experience of a tunement, you know, being in a space and all tuning our consciousness to the same vibratory offering. Yes. It's amazing. Yes. It's this big group healing meditation trance. Nothing like it. Yeah, so that's I kind of knew ever since my first rock concert was the white stripes at Stone Mountain, Georgia when I was 13 and just it was so electrified. And I just felt every cell in my body just shaking with this understanding of that's what I wanted to do. Like, I wanted to the Shakti got you real good. So good.

That'll do it. Yeah, I just, yeah, I wanted to be a conductor like that. Yeah, I totally get it. It reminds me of something I forgot what I was saying while I was saying it and definitely pretended like I didn't, but now I remember it is the 60 stuff, which is this is a realm in which we're ultimately collaborative. And it's where for people who choose to accept this, we can basically master or very quickly get to a intermediate or professional level of skill where something we had no idea this I saw this happen for me with tarot. So if you go back in my Instagram, like six months, seven months ago, I didn't have the fuck up. I did. I was literally posting on Instagram. Like, what do these mean? I don't understand. And then one day I woke up and I was like, holy shit, I remember how to do this.

And it wasn't me learning anything. It just remembered. And I think 60 is this remembrance that like, Oh my God, this person does something amazing. I'm not egoically going to take it from them, but I'm going to shift into their space, learn what they have. This is like, I don't know, for me, what one of the coolest things about music is it's not really hard. It is hard in terms of making a finished thing and having that be pure and authentic, but like anyone like I've set up shit on my MIDI controller where like people push a few buttons and they're fucking geniuses all of a sudden, you know what I mean?

And that to me is what's so appealing about it. It's like everyone does have this natural ability. I'm not saying it was going to be an amazing guitarist and like finger picker, but anyone can place their hands on a keyboard and make beautiful music. Yeah, well, everyone can and should be, you know, dancing, making music, making visual art. It's these things that when you go into a preschool, everyone and acting, you know, imaginative play, we all come into the world doing all of these things. It's such a tragic process of just stripping us of those innate tendencies and convincing us that you need to be a specialist and you need to go to school to learn how to do these things.

People, human beings have been gathering around fires, doing amazing dance and making amazing music from the beginning of human time, you know, and it's bullshit that we are not all giving that experience to ourselves and that we have to go, yeah, like pay to take lessons or pay to go see a concert from someone who, I mean, there is something about mastery and just, you know, putting in hours to gain an exquisite muscle control and the ability to do very intricate things that is mind-blowing. But the just primal ability to move sound as vibration through our bodies is an experience that it makes me very angry that we don't all share.

Don't get angry. It doesn't help in this situation. It can inspire you to action and skillful means, which is good. But I mean, you know, it's something that I think even for people who are musically or creatively inclined, it takes them, even them, a fair amount of time to open up to that reality, for people who just conceive of themselves as not talented or creatively predisposed, which is wrong, just to be clear. It's 100% wrong. That belief is actually what's creating that. It is frustrating sometimes to see, like, that's why, like, when you see kids play, it's like they don't have these conceptions and, like, just to be clear how this ties together with all the good things.

It's like, when you're a kid, you imagine stuff. You imagine things for your future. And if imagination creates reality and you accepted it back then, that shit will play out in your life. Now, yes, you can go back and change those stories because you change your beliefs over time, but again, to the degree that you can go back and remember those things, they will express themselves. And a lot of us, when we're young, have those pure authentic desires to be creators, to play. And I think now what many people are discovering is, oh, we can, like, we can do that. Not only can we end, we are. And the more people who walk into that and lead by example, this is my whole philosophy. This is when I accepted, like, any level of attention or fame or awareness expansion in my life.

It was like, no, this is awesome. Like, people need to see this shit. If I feel like this all of the time, I want people to know that they can too. Like, and it's not me. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I'm leaning into that myself. Like, I think I've kept myself really small for a long time out of fear of taking up too much space or having power over people or, like, you know... Influence. Influence is probably the right, right? Yeah. I guess, you know, I just, I didn't want to hurt anyone. Abuse it. Yes. And I'm at this point now where I'm convinced that as you're saying, if I, if I'm doing that to myself, I'm hurting other people. You know, if I'm hurting myself by keeping myself down, then that's what I'm reflecting back to everyone that I interact with.

And if I'm holding myself in a space of self-respect and just knowing, I'm God, you know, I'm knowing it. And not in a weird way. Just knowing it. And like, knowing that I'm infinitely worthy of love and success and all the good things because it, because, you know, it's, it's so funny. Like, I think we're so conditioned to think that that's egoic, because like, no, it's the small stuff that's the ego. Yes. It's the like, oh, no, but who am I? And the ego shit, like, to be clear, like, this is something that really, in the very beginning helped me when I was doing a lot of this stuff is I don't diminish my ego. I don't, I'm not pejorative towards my ego. I don't try to kill my ego. I don't try to suppress it. I fucking love this shit out of my ego.

Totally valid and useful. And I allow it to go get me the things that I consciously know are good for me. That's what I let it do. And when it flexes itself and I sound and I hear myself sometimes, I'm like, wow, it kind of sounded a little egotistical. I check in and I go, are you? I go, I'm not. And I'm not. And if someone perceives it that way, like, okay, it's cool. That's not a big deal. I don't have to worry about it. But yeah, like, we do confuse this super conscious sense of limitlessness and abundance. And we play these games where like, yeah, but like, who am I worthy? Like, am I? And that's your ego. It's not just like being a dick to people because you think you're better than them. Yeah, that's really important.

Yes. Yes. And recognizing that actually the times that I have done the most harm to others have been when I'm acting from my small ego self and when I'm actually in my state of boundless infinite power and love. Everybody wins because I invite everyone who I'm encountering into that space too. And it's just a reflection. We're all hanging out there together. So this is how you thrive in 60, which is already 5d is going to click in for everyone pretty hard in the next few months, like everyone, even people who are like, you wouldn't think 60 is going to click in after that. I'm not sure when I just sense it.

60 freaks people out, though, because if I'm someone who's built up 10,000 hours or 10 or 20 years of skill in something and then all of a sudden, some jabroni like me comes in and is like, hey, I'm like, think of it like if you've ever seen Amadeus, the movie. I have not. Okay, it's an amazing movie. I highly recommend it. There's a scene where Salieri, who's like the narrator and was also a composer, writes this very nice sonata. It's just beautiful. And they're like, wow, that's really great. It's out Salieri. And then Mozart walks in. He's like, oh, my God, that's beautiful. Do you mind? And he just based on memory comes in, tastes his sonata and makes it the most incredible thing. Like he adds all of these and people are like, and you see at the moment, Salieri, his face, like, I'm fucked.

Like, I'm there's no way I can ever be as good as this person. And so that's what happens to a lot of skilled creatives right now because not just music, film or any of these things, but like the divine. I see it astrologers, you know, terror readers, things like this. The trick is to do what you're suggesting, which is recognize someone coming in and being amazing something that you are and it took them shorter is a boom. It's a blessing. You can now collaborate with someone and expand what you're doing. But if you look at it like someone's taking something for you or infringing on your territory, lo and behold, they will.

And that's a premise that I think a lot of openhearted and creative people should be aware of because everyone feels that at some point, some start comes up and you're like, don't do that. Don't do it. No, yeah, I've been working with that a lot, kind of creative professional comparison. Like looking at specifically focusing on people who I perceive as similar to me, both physically and creatively, you know, making similar music that gets put in the same genre categories and who from a certain perspective, we could be seen as competitors for the same opportunities. Only so much pie, right? Only slices.

And making them the focus of my practice, like really, I had a breakthrough moment with Laura Marling, who I feel like is some bizarro world version of myself. And I've had this feeling like over the years, she usually, when I see a video of hers pop up on YouTube or something, it just brings up all this shame and comparison. Totally. So really working with that and getting to the point where I was watching a video of her performing at some big festival, I think playing with Bob Dylan or something. And I was just like, yes, like really giving myself that experience. We're doing it, baby. She is a bizarro world version of me. And we are doing it.

And she is suffering in ways that I can't imagine. And I'm sure at moments, she looks at someone like me who isn't in a position of such fame and power and privilege. And absolutely, and just wishes God, I remember when I could go to the supermarket and not be hassled. And remembering like we're each experiencing our own unique karma, blessings, curses, whatever, and it's not a competition. No, and here's the trick. You appreciate not being famous now, because if your desire is to be famous, which is totally okay and cool and I'm speaking from a personal experience here. You'll appreciate that you appreciated it when you could. It's a lot of famous people who get launched up this fucking pedestal. They didn't appreciate it because all they were focused on is getting to that destination.

And then when you get to that destination and you're still unhappy, that's when... Well, that's the trick with desire, right? Here's the thing, this is why Buddhists freak people out because they say, and it's just a mistranslation. And I know that from the Western or Western Buddhist friends, many of which I worked at, it's a mistranslation. Desire is not something that is designed to trap you into a hungry ghost mentality. Yes, it is true. When you reach and achieve your desire, other ones come up. But if you use them correctly, it propels you up this ladder of ascension until you essentially peel away every layer that's not you and you recognize who you really are.

And the power and grace and just fun that comes from that is not bad. It does not bind you to some negative state. It does not keep you in samsara or Maya or anything. I'm just talking from direct experience. I trust these feelings. I trust them because not in the times when they're going well and everything is smooth, but because when everything is not going well objectively, I'm also fine. And that is the biggest proof in my life that this is not some like phony, like, "Oh, I'm just a delusory." So yeah, yeah. Yeah, the peace and the stillness that is consistent no matter what the waves are doing. It's so good.

You're the ocean, right? You don't have to worry about the crashing. You can just slip down into that state of consciousness. Yes. And I feel like in my personal life, I've watched a direct correspondence between that, making peace with things as they are opening up the possibility for things to get so much, quote unquote, better, but it's not because it's just I've given up my attachment to any kind of illusion outside of myself and I've found heaven on earth. Right? The kingdom of heaven is within. Yes. And then anything can happen. Literally. Yes. And it can get scary. And I do bring this up for people, not so much for you, but other people who maybe are struggling with this because they'll notice their analytical or logical minds jumping in and denying these direct experiences and coming up with pretty logical reasons why it's not true. And people will then judge that and be like, "Well, why fucking doubt? Fuck doubt. Why do I doubt?" And you're just binding yourself to it.

The reason it comes up is because your pressure testing your shit. A lot of people, the vast majority of people to the best of what I see out there have a very difficult time navigating their own individual lives. To wake up to the true reality of this is you're now responsible for fucking everything. Everything. The logical analytical mind does the calculation and says, "Hey, you can't even take care of your own shit and you feel bad. If you add everything, you're fucked." And it is an accurate perception. You are fucked in a way and it's terrifying, but it also liberates you and then it's not terrifying.

And it's also you're fucked if you don't do that also because the heroes call. And you're just living in isolation and trying to be the boy in the bubble and not even look at the suffering in the world. So I love the rhombus thing of keeping one eye on the snowy mountain peak and one eye on the bodies on the ground. I think I'm paraphrasing that horribly. But one eye up, one eye down, one on the suffering, one on the perfection. It's both. We have to stay in contact with both because we don't want to become uncompassionate and callous to the fact that suffering is in the world, but then we also don't want to lose the sight of the perfection and get swallowed in the horrors.

And we see this played out in our social, political and economic paradigms because you can say that one who's too aware of the suffering of the world binds themselves to it and one who is too aware of their own selfish, not selfish, but their own shit may be blind to the suffering of the world. And that is this power of bearing witness to what's out there and then harmonizing what you see out there. Like, here's a path that I think is very achievable for a lot of people. If you go and see, you know, homeless crisis or just, you know, some medical thing in another country, the right course of action might not be to go right there right now and try to fix it.

You might not have the information, you might not be working from the right space, but if you pursue your desires that seem completely separate from them, it may lead you to a place where you can then actually provide infrastructural support in a way that you could not have imagined, which is why Ramdas is also very good at saying this, like, you do your own shit first and it may feel selfish, but you have to. Yeah, I love the Jack Cornfield quote tend to tend to the part of the garden. Yes, yes, I love that because and then because that brings trust into the picture and collaboration into the picture.

It's like, I can only do so much and I know I recognize I can't save the world single handedly, but at the collective, we can, if we all do our small part and encourage each other to find our own part of the garden. I do save the world individually, because when you save yourself, it means no matter when it happens, the world is saved. That's why I get so ballsy when I tell people like all your dreams are going to come true like when I come into physical presence with people, I say like, listen, this is the final destination. We may have reincarnated millions of times before different bodies, different things. If you're here right now, you're waking the fuck up. And the only reason I know that is I woke the fuck up and I stabilized it.

If I wake up and stabilize it, I'm not some special motherfucker who's like, everyone is going to do it. And to the degree that I wake up to that more and more and more, weirder shit starts happening. Like you start getting all these powers you read about and autobiography of the Yogi, all this stuff starts happening and you recognize. For real. And I still have battles, but I know how to impregnate my subconscious mind. That's so cool. I'm experiencing very similar phenomena. It's really cool. It is cool. I'm curious, did you have some kind of cataclysmic paradigm shifting event or was it a gradual process?

17 years ago, 16 years ago, I started taking acid when I was 15. So I was in my 20s then. I was well versed. I was taking 7 to 10 grams of mushrooms regularly in college. Like I was a psycho knot and I was comfortable and aware of what was going on. One time I took LSD and I didn't come down for three months. Wow. Yeah. And that's normal reaction because people have taken drugs or like, what? Because most people are like by hour of a long trip by like hour 12 or 13. They're like, okay, I'm ready. So to have that go for like, I don't even know the percentage more. But it was a very weird time for me, as you can imagine, because I was at a music school in Boston and downtown Boston.

I had dreadlocks too. I had dreadlocks for eight years. And I was a horny college kid. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm experiencing freedom. Like, it was this weird state to basically learn that you're God and get all these downloads that I didn't gravitate. I gravitated to philosophical stuff, but I wasn't new agey. I wasn't like someone who grew up in a super new agey environment, but all of a sudden, and this is relative. This is like 2002 three. So the internet was not what it is now with like good. It was just weird. But I started getting a lot of downloads and I did not have the ability like I do now to a understand what was happening and especially be communicated.

So I would talk about things about like unconditional love a lot and numbers, but kind of more skewing towards like the crazy guy on the street. Yeah, 2002 was a different world. And people did. I was right. Just to be clear. So what happened was I really was I was right about everything. It just wasn't as receptive. No, I mean, my having these revelations. Yeah, like my social group changed because some people are like, yo, he's lost it. He's insane now. And I also had this tie into like, I finally broke this karma. Thank God. But I had weird relationship karma play where I'd project myself worth onto women and then do that whole game, which is a nightmare for everyone involved.

It's not really that bad, but I mean, it was like a thing. And that was getting weaved into this experience to everything because my ego was trying to like reconcile what the fuck is going on. I kick all of a sudden, all of these things. Anyway, this lasted for about three months. And then I crashed and I had never been depressed in my entire life. I may have had like the blues and felt sad. Like I was never depressed. I didn't leave my bed. I was in an apartment. There was very little light in that apartment. I remember knowing something was really wrong when I went. I was smoking cigarettes at the time.

I remember I went up to go like bypassing camels to. Oh, God, gnarly, gnarly. So anyway, I got up to go to the store, which is like a few blocks down the street. And my knees are wobbly because I hadn't gotten up in so long that like I couldn't walk right. I was like a fucking horse who was just born like it was crazy. So I knew something was wrong. Like my mom and my family started picking up on it. My friend came up, moved me back down. I saw a psychiatrist because I was clearly. I was drawing my dollars all the time. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. I was still just in between worlds. How old were you?

I was 20. Wow. And I went home, got diagnosed at the time as bipolar. They put me on. I was been there. Yeah. I was very resistant to allotropic drugs. But I did agree to take lithium because it's a salt and it was an element. It's like not some common. There's a great nirvana song. Yeah. And it's a great nirvana. Same been there also. Yeah. So I took that for four years, went back to school, got into a very prestigious program at Berkeley, graduated, got to stake, shake Steve Windwood's hand as my commencement speaker. Congratulations. Oh, there's some metaphor that goes into a DMT experience I had later. It's the best. And Philip Bailey, lead singer of Earth Wind and Fire. Those were my commencement speakers.

So basically what I did, four years after that, I moved to the city after I graduated New York. And I was like, I don't think I'm bipolar. Like, I'm very confident that what happened to me because there was a weird shit happening that had nothing to do with how I was feeling inside. Yeah. They love doing that. They love just taking an isolated, circumstantial incident and expanding it into an incurable lifelong diagnosis. Yeah. And throwing medications at it that will require more medications as side effects pop up. Yeah. And like, it just didn't add up to me. So I, rather than just like, flashing pills down the toilet, I went to my mom, who was like the person who basically got me through this as much as anyone else.

And I said, listen, I want to see a psychiatrist. I wasn't seeing a therapist, but it's like, I want to see one so I can get off this shit. Like, I just, I don't think I need it. So let me just do this above board. And I did. And that was 11 years ago. And I'm totally not bipolar. Hell yeah. That's so good. Yeah. So advocated for yourself. Yeah. Well, I knew it. I knew it. Thank God. The, the connection between that, I basically put on my regular people clothes. So after that experience and diagnosis for about 16 years. I'll do shave the dreads at that point. I shave them not too long after, about two years. I think about growing dreadlocks again sometimes, but the white guys with dreadlocks is a thing. I'm not sure. It's a thing now.

But mine were fucking long and they were awesome. And I used to go to DC and get it done, like in the hood. Like it was legit. They used to call me Justin. You know, Justin Timberlake. And I'm like, Oh my God. Because at the start, it's cornrows. But yeah, I, during that three month period, there was three weeks where I not only felt, but I knew I was Jesus Christ. I grew up, performed Jewish. I don't have any knowledge of Jesus at the time outside of like popular culture, right? Never read the New Testament or think I read one thing. Like Jung's explanation of Job. That was the only thing. And I was like, Whoa, Yahweh is a dick. Fuck this. Fast forward to, but I knew I was Jesus. I knew it. So he has returned.

So I thought it was a consciousness. I thought it was maybe a mushroom. All these different things. So anyway, fast forward to about six months ago. And I'm listening to this Neville Goddard stuff. We got tipped on to, and he's talking about imagination creates reality and yada yada yada. And yada, I am yada over the best part there. But the, he started talking about Jesus Christ. And I'm like, What the fuck is he talking about? And he starts talking about how everything in the Bible, every character, every situation is just a psychological state that eventually culminates in the New Testament as Jesus Christ, which is this remembrance inside of your skull, Golgotha, that you're God.

And that is the Jesus Christ moment. And the first time I heard it, it didn't like click. And I was like, Oh, sure. But I kept listening to it. And I'm like, Oh my God, like this is what happened to me before. And what I described as a constant state of synchronicity was just me being so close to the imaginal mechanism that when I would think of something, it would immediately appear weirdly in every way. So, you know, that, that direct experience back then, and recently doing it without heavy doses of drugs has given me the ability to speak from direct experience. So I don't have to conceptualize being Jesus Christ.

I don't have to be weird about Jesus Christ. You know, everyone's Jesus, where it gets weird is if you realize you're Jesus and other people aren't, then you're fucking up. If you realize you're Jesus and so is everyone else, you're good to go. Yeah. But yeah, that is. Yeah, that's the Romdas and his brother in the mental hospital. That's like, that's, did you know that story? You know, I worked with them, right? No, I didn't. Okay, so I connected with the, I have more than worked with them. I built out their digital ecosystem in 2012. They were about to go down the tubes because the organization wasn't doing that well. And yeah, I worked with them. Jack Hornfield, Sharon Salzburg, Christian at us.

Amazing. It's interesting vibes there. Maharajis is good. Romdas is one of the best teachers I have ever come across. He's been so instrumental in my awakening over the... Because he's authentic. He didn't hide his shit. He doesn't hide his shit. Yeah, he's so sweet and funny and just, I think does a really beautiful job of bridging the gap and making a lot of really high, high potent information available to a lot of people who might otherwise feel really put off by it. You want a fun Romdas story? I got one. I got a fun Romdas. So I went to the retreat twice in Maui because I was working and doing it.

And I like to smoke a lot of weed. And I was smoking weed outside of this buffet wherever he goes after like these talks. And Romdas and his caretaker, Dasima, was like wheeling him around, getting him food. And he must have been having just like a cranky day, but she like got him some rice. He was, "I don't want that rice!" And I was, it was the best moment because I know that he is not, he does not consider himself a guru as a teacher. He considers himself a teacher. He considers Maharaji. But it was just a wonderful, I am afforded in almost every aspect of my life a look behind the curtain. I get to see the Wizard of Oz. And it just reminded me that like this dude is just like you in me. There's no fucking, yeah, he had some incredible experiences and has gone the spectrum from like wealth to none to friends to none to Maharaji to back, but he's just a person too.

And that to me was one of my favorite moments with him. Yes, I love those looks behind the curtain. I've been similarly blessed. This has been amazing. I'm going to end with three questions and then the last open ended question. What's your favorite color? Oof. I love them all. I don't really have favorite anything. Everyone says this. What color comes to mind? I wear a lot of black because it contains all the colors. And I like, I like black and white for the same reasons because white light contains all the colors and black contains all the pigments. So I, because I don't like making choices, I choose them all. What's your favorite number?

Um, I've got a thing for threes and elevens. Cool. Eleven has been coming up this trip when I ask people that. What's your favorite animal? What did I say about favorites? What's an animal you love? Um, I love cats. I have an understanding of the feline. Yes, I'm sort of a cat whisperer. A lot of, a lot of cats who apparently don't like other people are very immediately magnetized. And we just, I speak their language. I know exactly. And I just think they're so beautiful and elegant. And they're just cool. It's fine. They're just cool. Just aliens. They get it. They're tuned into some higher shit.

I think people who had prominent places in Egypt tend to like cats. Um, I think based on this conversation, I'm going to change all those questions and stop asking people favorites and saying, what do you love? I think that's better. I think that's good. No, I had to only took 240 episodes. Um, last question. What's a practical tip that's helped you in your life that you could share with people listening. Kind of bringing this full circle to an earlier part of a conversation about letting things be easy. The first time that I sat with Ayahuasca, what she told me was because I came into that experience ready to have a brutal dark night of the soul excavation because that's everyone had told me.

Yeah, but I think maybe because I'd already done a lot of that shadow work on my own. It was the opposite. She was like, baby girl, you get to go healing does not have to be an uphill struggle. It can be as easy as taking a deep breath and relaxing and floating downstream because nature is a river flowing towards the ocean of healing. You just have to tune into that and let yourself be carried because nature knows what it's doing. You are nature. Nature wants to heal itself. It wants the path of least resistance. If you look at a stream and put something in its way, look at what happens. It doesn't stop. It goes around it. It's the path of least resistance. It will find the way.

It's hard for us to come home because we're reality. It's not how things worked. Right. Well, we're so conditioned to conflate hard work with virtue and deservingness of things. It's like, well, I worked so hard for this. I deserve everything I have. It's like, you deserve everything just because you are. I like you say, apparently. I guess that's what it is. It's true. Amazing. This has been wonderful. Thank you so much. It's been a pleasure. It really has. [Music] [Music] Thanks for listening to that episode. Go check out Joanna@joannawarren.com. That's pretty easy to do because it's her name and then it's just the website.com. That's easy.

She's great. Her music is great. Go check out film. She's been in. She's going to be another stuff. She's someone to keep an eye out on because she's pretty cool. Rate and review this podcast. Go get the Ned stuff. Code Sync, SYNC, 15% off and magically blessed GBD stuff. Go find me weed sponsors. That would be great for everyone. So let's do that. And I'm going to try to get back into East Coast time because I'm definitely still in California time. And yeah, so wish me luck on that. And I will see you next week for real. Nothing's coming before that. Next week for real. Happy imagining. Bye bye.

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